I took my rage out on a con man today.

Perhaps it's because I'm stressed about school. Or, perhaps it's because I'm already overwhelmed by my schedule for the fall and it won't even go into effect for another month and a half. Or, perhaps I'm incredibly annoyed that the only people who try to communicate with me on match, based on their profiles, are complete bozo's who possess zero of the qualities I am looking for in a man. Seriously, had another one today that might as well be Gino 2.0. Whatever the case, something lit my butt on fire today and I took it out on him.

"Who's him?" you may ask. Let me tell you. Him is the jerk of a scammer whose spam mail managed to sneak into my inbox. He told me he had a business deal worth, and I quote- with his punctuation, "Twenty Two million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars." And I? Well, I told him to put the money where the sun don't shine.

I am Mr. Vincent Cheng Hoi Chuen, GBS, JP Chairman of the Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation Limited.i have a business proposal of Twenty Two million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only for you to transact with me from my bank to your country.

All confirmable documents to back up the claims will be made available to you prior to your acceptance and as soon as I receive your return mail Via my email address:choi_chu808@yahoo.co.jp and I will let you know what is required of you.

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Best Regards,
Mr. Vincent Cheng

Here was my bitchtastic reply:

Dear Mr. Vincent Cheng Hoi Chuen,

You are full of shit. I'm sure what is required of me is my SSN, my PIN numbers to my bank accounts, my bank account numbers, and any other private information you could use to steal my identity and rob me blind. Am I correct?

Of course I am. You, sir, are one of the millions of scammers trying to get rich quick by stealing from innocent people. Fortunately, I have enough sense to recognize your bullshit and call you out on it. Here's a thought: go get a real job and work for your own money, just like I, and billions of others, do. If you have any conscience at all, you'll feel better about yourself.

Take your "Twenty Two million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars" and shove it up your ass.

And for future reference, it is the United States. Not United State. There are 50 states. Plural. Got it?

May the devil have a special place saved for you in hell.

Sincerely,
Me

So this, friends, is one of the only times where I thought very rudely and spoke very rudely. And I don't feel bad about it at all. Scammers make me so mad because you know there are people out there that are naive, or mentally ill, enough to believe it. Maybe I did this for the sad old man on A&E's Intervention the other night. He was a morphine addict and has lost $600k to online scammers. It broke my heart. So, little old man drug addict-- that one's for you, bub ;) Scammers are cold-hearted, callous, manipulative little twerps and I wish the worst karma on their souls.

I'm sure he at least read it, as he probably thought the return email was some ignoramus who fell for his little scheme. I wish he'd reply though.

Coming up next: replies to Gino.