Thursday, September 30, 2010

Too Good To Be True! & Couch to 5k

I get the itch to run away and travel to some where outside of Indiana, um, every day. I'm a restless gal, what can I say?

My dearest friend in the whole wide world lives in Boston and she and I had planned to go somewhere over the summer. Like Vegas or NYC or Miami. But she was unemployed and, well, I'm not exactly rollin' in the dough, so, sadly, we had to cancel those plans. I then resigned myself to not going anywhere for the next couple years unless I shimmy down to Florida for a bit while my parents are there this winter. Was I happy about this? Um, no. But when the money is tight and you have things you MUST pay for, you do what you gotta do, right?

Then I got an email from a blog friend that was totally out of the blue (the content was out of the blue, her emailing me wasn't). She lives in DC and said that she recently won a trip through her company to NYC, airfare and hotel were included. She asked if I wanted the airfare since she could take the train or drive into the city. Then told me to pick a weekend and it'd be a done deal.

Jaw? Meet floor.

Seriously, I was speechless. And then emailed her back:

So I'm going on vacay with someone I've never met in person and I couldn't be more excited. My mom was all, "What if she isn't who she says she is?" To which I replied, "I'm pretty sure she's legit, Ma. But even if she wanted to sell me into the sex slave industry, she'd realize quickly I'm not what those nasty clients would want. I've aged out of that system already." My mom looked at me like I was crazy. What else is new?

But seriously, Rosh and I have communicated A TON and have a lot in common. I don't see how it could be anything but a good time. And even if we don't hit it off as well as we have virtually, who cares. We're on a mostly free trip in an amazing city-- we can make it a good time, no matter what! Oh, and guess what! Since my best friend lives in Boston, she's going to try to head into NYC for the weekend, too!!! YAY! Reunions are my fave!

November 4th, I'll hop aboard a plane, go to my favorite city in the world and annoy Rosh to death with thanks you's every five seconds because I can't believe the graciousness and luck of the entire scenario. Rosh is like the angel of sanity I so desperately needed and I really don't know how I'll ever be able to repay her.

Now if only I could manage to find the funds to go visit a friend who is most likely moving back to Maui in a couple months...

Couch to 5k: Day 2-- Word to the wise, if you plan on starting this program, BEWARE OF THE WIND! Oh. My. Gosh. It totally just kicked me in the butt. Then, while I was down, kept kicking. It's relentless, that wind. So I had to use my rescue inhaler again and will deal with wheezing and coughing all night, but I was able to complete the challenge again and, aside from having to take an extra 30 second walk to relieve a cramp in my ribcage (any tricks for preventing these are getting rid of them quickly?), it went fine. Also, you can laugh at me all you want, but exercise induced rhinitis is a very real thing and it's plagued me yet again. I was hopeful after not getting the sneezes Monday, but that hope was shattered today and I sprinted upstairs to pop a zyrtec as soon as I finished.. So I'm a wheezing, coughing, sneezing mess... but at least I can run!

Oh, also, if you're interested in this program, I found free podcasts online. The man tells you when to run and when to walk so you don't have to keep track of it yourself. When he isn't speaking, music is playing. You can find them here, but just fyi, you have to download one for each week (total of 9).

*All photographs were taken by me in NYC 2005 Registered & Protected

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Wednesday's Words of Wisdom

Good humor is tonic for mind and body. it is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment."
~Greenville Kleisser

Image from Google Images Registered & Protected

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Because I'm Random Like That.

Ay yi yi. Fickle White is in an UGLY mood right now. Between being in a war of words with someone regarding transfer credits and the drama with my physiology class, I'm so. over. school. Seriously, can it be September 2012 already? Of course, only if I get into nursing school and start in May. Normally I'd self medicate my frustrations with a healthy dose of sour patch kids or something equally healthy, but I'm trying to change my ways. That, and I have zero money to my name and am too lazy to drive to the store. So I get to vent here and be random. Lucky you ;)

I took my Stats final last Thursday and the final course grade was posted yesterday. All it said was A, and because that just wasn't enough info for my liking, I called my professor (ALF!). Homie MADE. MY. DAY! He told I got the highest grade in the class on the final-- a 100%!!! WOOHOO! I got a 100% in the class. Yippie Skippie.

My legs are rather sore (which actually surprised me. I mean, I'm lazy, but I'm not totally inactive) from the Day 1 of Couch to 5k yesterday. Day 2 comes tomorrow, so I'm about to take the pups for a walk to loosen the muscles.

To go to UD this weekend or not to go, that is the question.

Speaking of UD, as I'm in turmoil with every body and their mom in the academic world, I was reminded yesterday, when I had to contact UD, how much I LOVE that school. Seriously, every time I have to contact someone there I am reminded of what a great decision I made in going there and wish they had a nursing school. Really, really badly. GO FLYERS!

My psycho physiology prof told us today that her 13 year old has recently come out of the closet (it must've been real recent because at the beginning of the semester, she said he doesn't know which way he's going to go). Apparently her older son was homecoming king and when her younger son told her he is gay, she said, "OH! So now I have my king AND my queen!" Um. Wow. Real nice.

I bought a birthday card for my friend back in August, and thought the card was funny, so I wrote it down. I just found it again a few minutes ago. Here's the quote:
"I once read about a lady who would make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I never knew that was possible. To have leftover wine, I mean."

I don't think there will be any leftover wine in the Fancypants household tonight. Especially if Mack pulls his stunt again. Just sayin'.

Off for a walk to try and cool off. My temper that is, Lord knows I'm not hot because the air is freakin' nippy. Stupid fall. Bring on the global warming!


` Registered & Protected

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Saga Continues...

With school, that is.

(ps, this post involves lots of name calling and some swearing and it's really long. you've been warned.)

I can't even explain how sick I am of this pre-requisite drama. Seriously, is it May yet?

Wah wah. I'm sure you're sick of my whining. Shoot, I'M sick of my whining. But when you're bored with anything and everything in your life, you whine. A lot.

Anyway, onto the headache.

I briefly talked about my psychotic instructor for advanced physiology, but also mentioned how she gave me hope for doing well in the class.

Psh. Yea right, bitch. You know darn well NO ONE does well in your class because you like to see people fail.

Oops. Did I say that outloud?

In case you're having trouble following this nonsensical post, here's the deal:

The beginning of the semester, instructor passed out 300+ practice questions for our first exam. I got working on them immediately and made sure to understand why the right answer was right and the wrong answers were wrong. I knew I was doing what I needed to do to prepare and was confident that, so long as I continued to study, I'd do well on the first exam.

Then came Thursday, the class before our exam on the following Tuesday. The royal bitchness said, "Most people get a D on the exam. I'm expecting most of you to do the same."

Wow. Thanks for the encouragement. And might I add, if history repeats itself in such an ill manner, perhaps the problem isn't the students, rather your method of instruction and testing. But that certainly couldn't be the case, because you are perfect and the rest of us are flawed, incompetent morons who are taking up your precious time, right?

Ahem. *Be a lady, Marianne*

So here I am, with a jam-packed weekend ahead of me and freaking out that I am going to bomb the exam and my grade for the course will be lower than what I need and I won't get into nursing school and I'll be a 23-year-old unemployed loser who lives at home and has no dreams because they've just been shattered and my life would be over.

Hey, I never claimed to not be a drama queen.

I studied ALL DAY Monday (on top of the time I'd already put into to doing the practice questions). I even left my night class early because I decided after two hours of hearing him ramble about nothing, I was better off spending the other two hours in quiet, with my nose in physiology notes.

I felt prepared. Knew and understood the concepts. Figured I'd get at least a B. Go to class, she passes out the exam, I answer the first page, no problem.

And then, my mind went blank. Test anxiety took over and I freaked. I didn't study well enough and didn't understand everything well enough. If I had, I wouldn't have lost my cool. I left class wanting to be optimistic, but the realistic side of me took over and I knew I had done horribly. But there were also questions on there that were clearly set up to see if we memorized every minute detail in proper order.

Thursday morning arrives and, as I head to class, I see our grades have been posted. 64. A D. I met her prediction. But what's even worse, my grade was on the "good" side. Since we have assigned codes, our grades are posted under these. No one knows anyone else's code. So all the grades are posted on a board and are public. I browsed through the rest of the grades and saw grades in the 20s, 30s, lots of 40s, tons of 60s (I'd say 90% of us got a 75 or less). I was shocked. When I got to class, the instructor said we all did as she had expected and on the future exams, we'll do slightly better on two and three, but poorly on four. And it took every fiber of my being not to scream at her. What kind of instructor expects their students to fail?

A narcissistic, bitter old hag, that's who.

As if I'm not bitter ;)

I came home frazzled and immediately emailed my advisor for the nursing program I hope to do. She isn't much older than me and because I needed to make myself laugh so I wouldn't cry, I made it a silly email. I may or may not have said, "What you don't know is that Hitler has been reincarnated in the form of a woman who is now my instructor for physiology." And I may or may not have called my instructor a nut-job. Keepin' it professional is clearly a talent of mine.

I asked my advisor what my options are, if dropping the class and retaking it through another school next semester would penalize me, and what in sam hell she would do. She emailed me back saying it was the funniest email she's ever received (*bows*) and that I can retake it next semester through the school I'll be going to for nursing. She then said that I have to get a B in this course if I continue where I am taking it now because that school doesn't give pluses and minuses and Marian requires a minimum C+ first time taking it to get into nursing school.


Are you ready for me to wrap this up? Sorry, not yet. I'm wordy. Reason 598120958 why I'd fail as a journalist.

Before I made a snap decision and dropped the class then and there, I decided to email my instructor to get her advice and see if it's even realistic to get a B after getting a D on the first exam. This was Friday and she has yet to email me back. Considering I emailed her before the class even started and have yet to get a response for that question, I'm guessing I'll be waiting till Kingdom Come for a response to my latest question.

Mulling over it all weekend long, I decided that I'm going to drop the class and give it another try next semester. I know the material isn't easy and will require a lot of work no matter where I take it (which is good prep, considering I know nursing school isn't going to be a walk in the park). I'm not looking for an easier option. I'm looking for a difficult class where the teacher wants his/her students to succeed and is willing to help them; not set them up for failure.

I have until November to drop the class, so I think I'm going to keep at it just to see. Even when I do drop it, I'm still going to show up to get the material; I just won't be getting a grade. I figure it certainly can't hurt me to learn it now if I have to take it next semester anyway. Plus, it's too late to drop and get any money back, so since it's paid in full, they can't kick me out.

In summary: my instructor is a dirty pirate, I bombed the exam, am dropping the class, but still going to class so I can still learn the material without being penalized, and will be taking the class next semester at another school. Betcha' wish I had just said that simple sentence in the beginning to spare you some time, huh?

In other news: I got an A in business statistics. Waiting to hear from my prof, but I'm pretty sure I got a 100 (or almost) on the final. My lifespan development class (psychology) started online last week and so far, so good. My instructor seems incredibly nice and the material seems interesting. On November 1st, I'll take abnormal psychology for 5 weeks, which will then bring us to the end of the semester!

In other, other news: I started the Couch to 5k program today. Day 1 was less scary than I had anticipated, although I'm sure my lungs would tell a different story. I was able to complete every interval when I was supposed to and didn't want to die when I got home (although I did have to use my rescue inhaler... even though I used my regular inhaler before I left.) I need to keep myself accountable, so I'm going to document my "days" of the program on here. If you see me slacking, y'all better yell at me.

Finally, I'm going to NYC November 4-7. Hallelujah! I need to blog about this little excitement!

OK, enough boring you to tears. If you've read through the entire post, have a cookie.

Toodles, Registered & Protected

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

It's a funny thing, really.

Way back when, in a far away land called January 2010, I decided to revisit my blog that I had "started" eight months earlier. I need not remind all of you how much I despise winter, but it turns out, the dreaded season is good for some things. One of which being blogging. The other pros I have yet to figure out, but I'm sure they exist. Maybe

So on that cold, depressing day, I typed in my web address (won't lie, had to do some digging in the brain archives to remember the clever little title) and was shocked to find a comment AND a follower (what up, Helene). That comment and one follower inspired me to actually commit to blogging, and here I am, 9 months later, still going at it... usually. So, you all skidaddle on over to Ms. Helene's pad and tell her thanks, cuz if it wasn't for her, this blog would probably still be a pretty background with an amusing title (if I do say so myself.).


Now, even though I made this blog a "public" blog, I never really anticipated people in my real life reading it. I put a little "announcement" about it once, maybe twice, on facebook, but quickly decided I didn't want everyone and their mother all up in my business. Furthermore, I never anticipated more than, say, 5 people ever reading it. Clearly, guesstimation is not my strong point.

Turns out, that one (or two) announcement(s) on FB caught the eye of a friend's mother. She clued in a mutual family friend, who clued in a mutual family friend, who clued in a mutual family friend, etc. (I'm talking to you, Mrs. A and Euchre/Derbyshire gang). And then my cousin put a link to my blog on her blog, so her dad and uncle and grandpa found my blog (hello, Jim/Joe/Uncle Mac). And then I clued my mom in, who clued my neighbor in, who clued her daughter in, who clued the Dalai Lama in, and now the whole world is reading my blog!

OK, fine, the Dalai Lama doesn't read my blog.

Or does he? {said in creepy Keith Morrison voice. That's for you, BFG}

But do you think any of these people could have become, oh I don't know, public followers? Or left a comment? Or freakin' clued me in to their reading o' my blog months ago? That's a big, fat negative.

Which brings me to this spring/summer, where practically the entire state of Indi-freakin-ana confessed that they secretly read my blog (except not so secretly because I know their IP addresses and other private information, muahaha), and I'm left in an instant state of panic thinking, "Oh S!#^, think Marianne, what have you said on your blog? Anything embarrassing? Crazy? Personal? YES TO ALL?!?!?! CRAP!"

And then I realized, what's done is done and it's all out of my control.

Well, that and the fact that now all these wonderful people know for certain that my parent's aren't full of it when they brag about their amazing Marianne.


Sort of.

But seriously, could you creepy secret readers publicly de-lurk on this here blog? At least once? Otherwise, you're just a creepy secret reader and I might have to air your dirty laundry. I'm talking to you, aguyfromhighsch00l. Let thyself be known!

Also, real-life friends, you better be open minded when reading what I have to say. I have zero plans to censor myself, now, or ever.

Oh, and thanks to everyone who reads my blog. Creepy secret reader, or not, I appreciate it more than you know. Registered & Protected

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Scatter Brained.

In the off-chance that anyone still reads what has become a pathetic excuse for a blog, I thought I'd pop in and say HELLO!!!! Visits to blogland are few and far between these days (as I had predicted), and I'm not going to even try to get caught up on reading and/or commenting/comment replying. I hope everyone is doing well and having a great September.

*I had my first advanced physiology exam today. That's all I'm going to say about that. My stats final is Thursday! SO happy to be finished with that class! Also, today, lifespan development begins online.

*Timmy surprised me this morning by telling me he activated Sirius Satellite Radio in my car for 5 months. Just because he felt like it! Thanks Poppa Fancypants! (Timmy is my dad, in case you're confused.)

*A week and a half ago, I volunteered in the NICU for the first time in over two months a while. OK, so, I love the NICU for many reasons, but one of my favorite things to do is walk around and scope out all the nuggets' names. Don't ask me why; I'm just oddly obsessed with names. Anyway, being absent for so long, I knew most of the wee ones would be newbies (to me), so I was anxious to see what kind of names we had now. Y'all, can I just motion for a law to be passed that prevents parents from a.) naming their kid before the drugs wear off and b.) spelling it in a jacked up way? I swear, some of these spellings make you wonder if the parents failed Hooked on Phonics (some of them probably did... speaking of HoP, anyone familiar with Brian Regan's comedy routine about the program and name spellings? Freakin' hilarious!). I'd share them, but I don't want to unintentionally offend anyone, you know, in case I list, like, your most favorite name, like, ever. Plus it's probably a violation of HIPPA, because what isn't a violation of HIPPA? Blinking 5 times in 20 seconds is a violation of HIPPA, probably.

*It's currently 91* and breezy and sunny. Mother Nature, how about we keep it this way year around, mmk?

*Krista (love ya, girlfriend!) sent me an email last week letting me in on a secret. I LOVE secrets. Er, let me rephrase that, I LOVE being IN on secrets. Wanna know what the secret was? Click here and find out for yourself. I was so excited! If I still lived in Ohio, I probably would've hopped in the car to give her a squeeze in real life!

*I'm getting really annoyed typing this. When I use the shift key on my left side of the key board, 90% of the buttons don't shift. Using the right side shift is just awkward.

*I'm going to try to do the "Couch to 5K" program. I used to run in high school (you know, when I didn't have to work hard to be skinny, my metabolism was normal, and I weighed 40 pounds less. Ah yes, so long ago it seems.), so we'll see how it goes. Considering I just ate my weight in Panera, I'd say it can't hurt.

*Joan Rivers on E!'s Fashion Police is the most hilarious show on TV. Joan is the craziest old woman in the world and she is so uncensored. I just love her. I'll watch it late at night and just die of laughter.

*My friend, Lance, started a food blog, go check him out! Seriously, he puts Martha to shame.

*I went to THE BEST WEDDING EVER this past Saturday. Omg, it was awesome. I'll write about it soon.

*Last, but not least, my dear friend Denise gave me The Versatile Blogger Award. Thanks, Denise! If you aren't familiar with her blog, stop by and give her some lovin'. She's great and real and is pretty, and, well, I like pretty people. They make me smile.

That's enough randomness for today. You're probably thinking, "Wow fickle white, maybe you should go back in hiding."

Smooches & Hugs, Registered & Protected

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Hybrid Creation.

What do you get when you breed this:

With this:

ps, that's a real mugshot.



My hilarious friend Pam took that photo at her local fair. We were laughing so hard over it, but still aren't sure what to call this "thing."

The first two images are from Google Images Registered & Protected

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Ignorance & Computers Do Not Mix.

Conversation of the night with my ma:

"Marianne, do you know Fancypants' email address? Can't you find it on facebook or something?"

"Let me check... no, sorry, she doesn't have it listed. Just text her."

"I don't want to. Do you think it could be"

Laughing hysterically, "What the hell? You're just going to make up an email address and hope it goes to her?"

"You mean I can't?"

Obviously computer intelligence skipped a generation... yes, I know they weren't around when she was my age. Also, Fancypants is my new last name for my gmail account. I wasn't fond of people knowing my full name. So, now you get to receive emails from Marianne Fancypants. Registered & Protected

Monday, September 13, 2010

The story of a crazy Dr. who almost made (makes?) me cry.

Advanced human physiology. Also known as the bane of my existence. Where to even begin with this dreadful class?

A majority of my prereq's I have taken at a community college. This college has campuses all over Indiana, so if you can't get into a class at location A, try location B. There is one campus 30 minutes from my house that is the "hub" for health sciences. All of their programs are extremely competitive and all of their classes fill up in about .24 seconds. Because of this, I had to look to another campus 45 minutes away to take Anatomy I last fall.

Now, I wouldn't say Anatomy I (or two, which I took at the same campus this past spring) were exceptionally hard, but they certainly weren't easy. I also took Microbiology at this campus and found it to be, dare I say, easy. I did really well in all three courses without having to put a whole lot of effort in. Looking back, that should have been a pretty clear indicator that something was wrong. I mean, hello, Microbiology is notoriously one of the most difficult classes, like, ever. The three health care classes people bitch about most? Organic chemistry, pharmacology, and microbiology.

Since I changed my mind about nursing programs, again, I was scrambling to find a campus where I could take Advanced Human Physiology. I was really bummed I couldn't get into one of the classes at the 45-minute-away campus, but was SHOCKED that there was an opening at the campus closer to home. I snatched that seat in the blink of an eye, thrilled with the prospect of not driving to Timbuktu for school.

Fast forward to the first day of class, where it immediately becomes clear as to why I didn't find A&P I/II or Micro to be hell on earth. As I'm sitting there, waiting for the instructor to show up, the girl sitting next to me said, "Oh, don't ever flip through your book, breathe loudly, come in late, or do anything remotely distracting. She'll call you out and tell you to leave." I thought, "Surely she isn't that bad." And then I remembered a story from a friend who was kicked out of class by some "lunatic A&P prof" because she was turning the pages in her book. But my naive little self still brushed it off. Besides, I've had 10's of professors, I can handle anyone.

So as I sit there, with my space organized and ready to begin class, in walks this short little woman, in her 50s I guessed, slightly masculine, and with the biggest scowl on her face. I became a little scared. Someone goes up to ask her a question before class and refers to her as Ms. She instantly corrects unsuspecting girl and says, "It's Doctor. What do you want?" I became more scared... and think, "How pretentious can one be?"

As she starts in on lecture, I immediately am overwhelmed and on the verge of tears. It is then that I think, "Holy shit Marianne, what have you done? You royally screwed yourself by taking those classes at the other campus and not here. They were easy because your instructors DIDN'T TEACH!"

Seriously, they taught me nada. This instructor is carrying on about God knows what, asking questions about various topics and probing us to answer said questions. I'm sitting there with smarty pants next to me answering every question correctly, and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell the question even was! And then Dr. said, "Come on you guys, you learned all of this in 101. I hope none of you got an A [um, I did], if you can't recall this basic of material."

I left class 80 minutes later beyond overwhelmed, but hopeful that she was just being a hardass and trying to weed people out who aren't serious about school. I have had profs do this before and just assumed she was the same way.

So I go to class two days later, a little more optimistic. First up was the lab portion of the class. The instructor is different, but under the control of my lecture instructor (did you follow that? if I wasn't too lazy to go back and insert names, I'd do it). Lab Man passes out two THICK packets and said, "These are the practice questions for exam 1. There are 300 questions here. 50 on the test." Jaw? Meet floor. I turned to the girls behind me and said, "Holy crap. It's going to take me the entire semester just to be prepared for the first exam!"

So much for starting off the class on a better note.

After lab, we got to lecture and it's like deja vu all over again. And I leave after 80 minutes on the verge of a breakdown. Again.

That weekend, I began working on the practice questions. It was here that I realized the instructor is just too brilliant and over-teaching the material. Since I don't plan on getting my PhD. in neurophysiology like she has, I realize if I'm going to come out of this class alive and without some serious medication, I'm going to have to teach myself. And that's exactly what I have been doing. I read the chapters a couple times each, then do the practice questions. After I answer the practice questions, I go through each one and write the definitions for the other possible answers so that I basically understand why the answer is A. and not B, C, or D. This has been really helpful in understanding the topics covered in class and it didn't take long for the material to "click."

I have well over half of the 300 questions complete, but had a question to ask Dr. last Thursday after class (yes, I was scared to approach her). She couldn't believe how much work I had done (and all the extra work I had done by writing definitions on the side) and praised the heck out of me. I was SHOCKED! This gave me the little boost of confidence I so desperately needed.

I plan on finishing the packets tonight and tomorrow, so I can have an entire week to review, review, review for the first exam. I'm hopeful that all of my hard work will pay off! It better, considering I have to get a C+ or better the first time taking it or I don't get into the program and then I'd be SOL because I do not have a back up plan. Eek. Insert panic.

So even though I sometimes wish I had fought harder to get into this course at the "easy" campus, I realize that taking it where I am will probably be far more beneficial in the long run. I'm actually learning the material and it's topics that will help me excel in nursing school. So while it may not be an "easy A," at least I won't be clueless when it comes to applying the material and won't be that girl that people ask themselves, "She thinks she's going to be a nurse? How the hell did she get into the program in the first place?!"

However, the countdown to the end of the semester is definitely not too far from my mind.

Oh, and Dr. really is nutty. She's already yelled at people for turning the pages in their book, she bitched out a girl for coming in late, and yelled at a maintenance man for trying to fix the projector during class (in her defense, he was rude. He should have waited). And don't you dare ask a question during lecture. Either ask it before or after class, or visit her during office hours. Turns out, she really is "that bad" about some things.

Slightly off topic, but for those of you keeping track of my Statistics course, it is over in 2 weeks! Hallelujah! And this class is far easier than I had prepared for; at least it is for me. I'm the only one who doesn't whine about its difficulty. Then again, I got 100% (some people got as low as 48%)on the midterm and learned all of it in grade school and high school, so I guess it helps that this material isn't new to me (even though my prof refuses to believe that I have already learned all of it). It probably also helps that while most of them have been OUT of school for the past 20 years, I have been IN school for the past 20 years. You think I'm kidding? I'm not. Started preschool at 2, been in school ever since. Registered & Protected

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The End.

Did you just have a slight heart attack? I bet you did. You probably think, "The End" means I'm leaving the blogging world. I can see how one would think that considering I've unintentionally become incredibly lazy when it comes to posting. My life really just isn't very interesting, the creative juices aren't flowing, and I'm still pretty stuck in a rut. However, last night around 1130 I received a text from a friend saying, "Write a post or I will hurt you!" Or something to that effect. So here I am. Writing a post. Hey, I take threats seriously! We're going to pretend I haven't been a slacker and I'm going to quit apologizing every time I go MIA.

Since it's now clear that "The End" is not indicative of my blog termination, I bet you want to know what the heck I'm talking about, right?

Well, after the story I am about to share with you, I will no longer be posting about Or any other dating site, for that matter. The experience has provided nothing more than great stories and I'm over it. My subscription isn't over until November, but I won't be checking winks and emails any longer. Matter of fact, I made this decision several weeks ago.

The following IM conversation with MetroMyle-- Myle is his real name. No, that's not a typo.-- happened literally, I kid you not, 5 minutes after the bitchtastic email from Peyton Manning's number 1 fan. After that, I had had enough with the joke that is online dating. I think you all will understand.

Creepy metrosexual Myle (I made up his SN): Hi! I got your email

Me: Hey

CMM: What's up? Ready for the weekend?

Me: Ha, yea, I guess. My schedule is weird so sometimes the weekends feel like the weeks, sometimes the weeks feel like the weekends. Really throws me off! What about you?

CMM: Hell yea, it's been a really long week!

Me: That's a bummer, hopefully you can relax! I know you said you own a business, but what kind?

CMM: I own Fitness Fixx

CMM: Do you have facebook?

Me: Um. Yea. But you won't find me. My profile is unsearchable.

CMM: Oh, well I just thought it might help us know more.

CMM: Can you add me?

Me: Anything you want to know you can ask me. My profile has zero info about me, other than I am an old soul, I have a journalism degree I never intend to use professionally, I have a weird thing about dinosaurs, and I'm obsessed with kids.

Me: Sorry, I'm weird about giving my last name out (yet).

CMM: Do you want kids?

Me: Yes, eventually, but for now, I'll settle with the kids I take care of.

CMM: Me too.

CMM: Let me know when you're ready... lol

Me: Haha {He's lucky I didn't castrate him via the internet...}

CMM: I'm always up for practicing

Me: You clearly didn't read my profile.

CMM: Geez! Yes I did, I was kidding!

CMM: That was rude! {He's supposedly in his 30s, I can't remember exact age. This comment suggests he's a prepubescent boy, which means he's probably not properly equipped to practice anyway. Just sayin'}

Me: Sorry, it was either that or, "I'm sure there's a nice lady on a corner willing to help you out. Unfortunately for you, I'm not so generous."

Me: Not trying to be rude, but I can make sex jokes just as much as the next person. However, I do not know you or your humor, so I took it at face value."

Obviously, and you all should know this by now, I don't put up with anyone's crap and seems to me that there's a clear reason why Myle is still single. I found him to be offensive, so I went on the defense. Not to mention the fact that I was convinved he was gay based off his pictures and email (not that there's anything wrong with being gay, just that he's barkin' up the wrong tree if he truly wants to be satisfied...). I'll also note that he emailed me twice asking to be friends on facebook before this conversation, so who knows what his true intentions were. For all I know, he's a 60-year-old rapist and I just really don't need that in my life. ;)

Anyway, that's the end of my story and match experience. Unless I dig up another story in the archives, which is entirely possible, but there won't be any new experiences to share. For now, I'm going to focus on my studies and getting healthy. God has I plan, I just need to learn to be patient. If there's a man out there for me, he'll come when the time is right. C'est la vie. Registered & Protected
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