With school, that is.
(ps, this post involves lots of name calling and some swearing and it's really long. you've been warned.)
I can't even explain how sick I am of this pre-requisite drama. Seriously, is it May yet?
Wah wah. I'm sure you're sick of my whining. Shoot, I'M sick of my whining. But when you're bored with anything and everything in your life, you whine. A lot.
Anyway, onto the headache.
I briefly talked about my psychotic instructor for advanced physiology, but also mentioned how she gave me hope for doing well in the class.
Psh. Yea right, bitch. You know darn well NO ONE does well in your class because you like to see people fail.
Oops. Did I say that outloud?
In case you're having trouble following this nonsensical post, here's the deal:
The beginning of the semester, instructor passed out 300+ practice questions for our first exam. I got working on them immediately and made sure to understand why the right answer was right and the wrong answers were wrong. I knew I was doing what I needed to do to prepare and was confident that, so long as I continued to study, I'd do well on the first exam.
Then came Thursday, the class before our exam on the following Tuesday. The royal bitchness said, "Most people get a D on the exam. I'm expecting most of you to do the same."
Wow. Thanks for the encouragement. And might I add, if history repeats itself in such an ill manner, perhaps the problem isn't the students, rather your method of instruction and testing. But that certainly couldn't be the case, because you are perfect and the rest of us are flawed, incompetent morons who are taking up your precious time, right?
Ahem. *Be a lady, Marianne*
So here I am, with a jam-packed weekend ahead of me and freaking out that I am going to bomb the exam and my grade for the course will be lower than what I need and I won't get into nursing school and I'll be a 23-year-old unemployed loser who lives at home and has no dreams because they've just been shattered and my life would be over.
Hey, I never claimed to not be a drama queen.
I studied ALL DAY Monday (on top of the time I'd already put into to doing the practice questions). I even left my night class early because I decided after two hours of hearing him ramble about nothing, I was better off spending the other two hours in quiet, with my nose in physiology notes.
I felt prepared. Knew and understood the concepts. Figured I'd get at least a B. Go to class, she passes out the exam, I answer the first page, no problem.
And then, my mind went blank. Test anxiety took over and I freaked. I didn't study well enough and didn't understand everything well enough. If I had, I wouldn't have lost my cool. I left class wanting to be optimistic, but the realistic side of me took over and I knew I had done horribly. But there were also questions on there that were clearly set up to see if we memorized every minute detail in proper order.
Thursday morning arrives and, as I head to class, I see our grades have been posted. 64. A D. I met her prediction. But what's even worse, my grade was on the "good" side. Since we have assigned codes, our grades are posted under these. No one knows anyone else's code. So all the grades are posted on a board and are public. I browsed through the rest of the grades and saw grades in the 20s, 30s, lots of 40s, tons of 60s (I'd say 90% of us got a 75 or less). I was shocked. When I got to class, the instructor said we all did as she had expected and on the future exams, we'll do slightly better on two and three, but poorly on four. And it took every fiber of my being not to scream at her. What kind of instructor expects their students to fail?
A narcissistic, bitter old hag, that's who.
As if I'm not bitter ;)
I came home frazzled and immediately emailed my advisor for the nursing program I hope to do. She isn't much older than me and because I needed to make myself laugh so I wouldn't cry, I made it a silly email. I may or may not have said, "What you don't know is that Hitler has been reincarnated in the form of a woman who is now my instructor for physiology." And I may or may not have called my instructor a nut-job. Keepin' it professional is clearly a talent of mine.
I asked my advisor what my options are, if dropping the class and retaking it through another school next semester would penalize me, and what in sam hell she would do. She emailed me back saying it was the funniest email she's ever received (*bows*) and that I can retake it next semester through the school I'll be going to for nursing. She then said that I have to get a B in this course if I continue where I am taking it now because that school doesn't give pluses and minuses and Marian requires a minimum C+ first time taking it to get into nursing school.
Are you ready for me to wrap this up? Sorry, not yet. I'm wordy. Reason 598120958 why I'd fail as a journalist.
Before I made a snap decision and dropped the class then and there, I decided to email my instructor to get her advice and see if it's even realistic to get a B after getting a D on the first exam. This was Friday and she has yet to email me back. Considering I emailed her before the class even started and have yet to get a response for that question, I'm guessing I'll be waiting till Kingdom Come for a response to my latest question.
Mulling over it all weekend long, I decided that I'm going to drop the class and give it another try next semester. I know the material isn't easy and will require a lot of work no matter where I take it (which is good prep, considering I know nursing school isn't going to be a walk in the park). I'm not looking for an easier option. I'm looking for a difficult class where the teacher wants his/her students to succeed and is willing to help them; not set them up for failure.
I have until November to drop the class, so I think I'm going to keep at it just to see. Even when I do drop it, I'm still going to show up to get the material; I just won't be getting a grade. I figure it certainly can't hurt me to learn it now if I have to take it next semester anyway. Plus, it's too late to drop and get any money back, so since it's paid in full, they can't kick me out.
In summary: my instructor is a dirty pirate, I bombed the exam, am dropping the class, but still going to class so I can still learn the material without being penalized, and will be taking the class next semester at another school. Betcha' wish I had just said that simple sentence in the beginning to spare you some time, huh?
In other news: I got an A in business statistics. Waiting to hear from my prof, but I'm pretty sure I got a 100 (or almost) on the final. My lifespan development class (psychology) started online last week and so far, so good. My instructor seems incredibly nice and the material seems interesting. On November 1st, I'll take abnormal psychology for 5 weeks, which will then bring us to the end of the semester!
In other, other news: I started the Couch to 5k program today. Day 1 was less scary than I had anticipated, although I'm sure my lungs would tell a different story. I was able to complete every interval when I was supposed to and didn't want to die when I got home (although I did have to use my rescue inhaler... even though I used my regular inhaler before I left.) I need to keep myself accountable, so I'm going to document my "days" of the program on here. If you see me slacking, y'all better yell at me.
Finally, I'm going to NYC November 4-7. Hallelujah! I need to blog about this little excitement!
OK, enough boring you to tears. If you've read through the entire post, have a cookie.