Thursday, June 24, 2010

I took my rage out on a con man today.

Perhaps it's because I'm stressed about school. Or, perhaps it's because I'm already overwhelmed by my schedule for the fall and it won't even go into effect for another month and a half. Or, perhaps I'm incredibly annoyed that the only people who try to communicate with me on match, based on their profiles, are complete bozo's who possess zero of the qualities I am looking for in a man. Seriously, had another one today that might as well be Gino 2.0. Whatever the case, something lit my butt on fire today and I took it out on him.

"Who's him?" you may ask. Let me tell you. Him is the jerk of a scammer whose spam mail managed to sneak into my inbox. He told me he had a business deal worth, and I quote- with his punctuation, "Twenty Two million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars." And I? Well, I told him to put the money where the sun don't shine.


I am Mr. Vincent Cheng Hoi Chuen, GBS, JP Chairman of the Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation Limited.i have a business proposal of Twenty Two million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only for you to transact with me from my bank to your country.

All confirmable documents to back up the claims will be made available to you prior to your acceptance and as soon as I receive your return mail Via my email address:choi_chu808@yahoo.co.jp and I will let you know what is required of you.

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Best Regards,
Mr. Vincent Cheng


Here was my bitchtastic reply:

Dear Mr. Vincent Cheng Hoi Chuen,

You are full of shit. I'm sure what is required of me is my SSN, my PIN numbers to my bank accounts, my bank account numbers, and any other private information you could use to steal my identity and rob me blind. Am I correct?

Of course I am. You, sir, are one of the millions of scammers trying to get rich quick by stealing from innocent people. Fortunately, I have enough sense to recognize your bullshit and call you out on it. Here's a thought: go get a real job and work for your own money, just like I, and billions of others, do. If you have any conscience at all, you'll feel better about yourself.

Take your "Twenty Two million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars" and shove it up your ass.

And for future reference, it is the United States. Not United State. There are 50 states. Plural. Got it?

May the devil have a special place saved for you in hell.

Sincerely,
Me


So this, friends, is one of the only times where I thought very rudely and spoke very rudely. And I don't feel bad about it at all. Scammers make me so mad because you know there are people out there that are naive, or mentally ill, enough to believe it. Maybe I did this for the sad old man on A&E's Intervention the other night. He was a morphine addict and has lost $600k to online scammers. It broke my heart. So, little old man drug addict-- that one's for you, bub ;) Scammers are cold-hearted, callous, manipulative little twerps and I wish the worst karma on their souls.

I'm sure he at least read it, as he probably thought the return email was some ignoramus who fell for his little scheme. I wish he'd reply though.

Coming up next: replies to Gino.


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10 comments:

Rosh said...

Hahahaha! Love it!
Do you at least feel a little bit better now?

It's just me :) said...

You go girl!!!

And don't for one second feel bad about it. He deserved every.single.word you said (and then some).

Anne said...

LOL!! Good for you!!

lindsey said...

Nice going! I just hit delete when I see those stupid emails. Twerps. LOL. Haven't heard that name in a long long time!

Nathan said...

Awesome. Love it. I think I may have a way for you to possibly make a lot of money too, or most likely, none at all. You don't need to invest anything moneywise, just a little bit of time and some stories...

Casey said...

I can't imagine a better person to take your frustration out on than him. The rest of us thank you for taking one for the team!

I hope your week gets better! I've been a little overwhelmed and under-appreciated myself in the last week. Plus, I'm working 9 days in a row right now. I'm so over this grown up thing.

denise said...

i LOVE your response!!! Sometimes we need to get our frustrations out, and that was so perfect!

Pennie said...

You absolutely crack me up.

I think I'm going to live vicariously through you, for now. My kids aren't old enough to be pulling that kind of crap yet.

Jess said...

HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish and pray you get a response from him!!!! Even more than I hope that Gino responds to you!

passionofthemom said...

UGH!! I get those damn emails just like that one ALL THE FAWKING TIME!!! I have spam reported their asses more times than I can count, and still they just pour in. I think I may go find one now, and take a page out of your book...that would feel REALLY GOOD right now!! LOL You rock, lady! =)

And it finally dawned on me who it is that Gino reminds me of! IDK if you ever saw it, but the movie The Perfect Man with Hilary Duff has this guy in it who is trying to date her mom, and I swear the Gino stories are SO THIS GUY! LOL Thought I would share that. =)

WV -- junne, no doubt thought up by that bonehead that sent you the United State email. HAHA!!

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