Saturday, May 1, 2010

Life Update

Update on all things going on in my life!

~Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your kind words on my last post. I really was just sharing the prayer because I thought it beautiful, but I can't express how grateful I am for your encouragement and support. I had NO idea I would "meet" such a beautiful, wonderful, uplifting bunch of people when I started this blog a short 4 months ago!

~I have been on Cymbalta for over a year for the treatment of fibromyalgia (which I've had for two years now) and depression. It did wonders for my fibro issues (paresthesia= pins and needles sensation in the entire body. Basically, my whole body is constantly 'asleep' and chronic pain.) For the depression? Suffice it to say that it had A LOT to do with my debbie downer way of life as of late. To be completely honest, it made me feel like a 12-year-old psychopath. I had ZERO patience, snapped for no reason, was bipolar, and felt insanely immature- no 23-year-old should essentially be throwing a temper tantrum. I was horribly alarmed with my behavior and did not feel like myself, at all. I also had suicidal thoughts. Thoughts and plans are totally different, mine were just thoughts. As in, I would never think to do it, but the thought of being dead seemed like an easy alternative.

~SOOOO I finally went to my nurse practitioner on Thursday because clearly my current treatment was not working. Ain't that the understatement of the century? Anyhow, she decided to switch me to a new FDA approved drug for the treatment of Fibro and an anti-anxiety as needed. I've been on the new drug for three days. Only problem is it's a drug that you have to build up your dosage gradually. Unfortunately the dosage I am currently on is doing nothing for my fibro. The pins and needles is back in full force, the tips of my toes and fingers have been burning for two days, and my back (where I normally have the worst pain) is really, really sore, and I keep getting surges of tingling from my brain (truly. It's under the surface like my brain is asleep, not on the surface like an itch) to the my feet. However, my mood is 12948120598% better. I've been laughing, smiling, more patient, starting to remember the person I was years (yes, years) ago. I'm praying to God once we get the dosage up, this medicine will be the answer.

~Withdrawal from Cymbalta is, I would imagine, like going through withdrawal from narcotics. Chills, fever, sweating, shaking, head ache, stomach ache, vision issues, etc. I feel like a crack addict who needs a fix ;)

~You probably just learned way too much about my medical history than you ever cared to know. I'll spare you all and not share the rest ;)

~I have my anatomy final on Thursday and find out in a few weeks (by the end of the month) if I have been accepted to the Nursing School I applied to or not.

~If I get in, I'll start in August. If I don't get in, I will take a few more courses needed for another program in the summer and fall and apply to their Accelerated BSN program to start in January. I would also reapply to the ASN program I am hoping to get in to.

~I'm still babysitting all the time. Some weeks it's 20 hours, some weeks it's 45. The most I've done is, in a matter of 10 consecutive days, I had babysat 63 hours. **I should note, while I did lose my patience a few times with the kids more than I would have liked, they never, EVER, saw the side of me the scared me to death. Ever. I'd walk away and breathe in the other room if I felt the emotions go hay-wire. I could never let them see that side of me.**

~I'm going to Chicago with one of my very favorite people on May 28th! We're still trying to convince one of our other friends, but as for now it's just me and my buddy from DC. As my social life is, um, nonexistent, I am so excited for this trip. Plus, the 28th is his birthday and mine is the 20th, so we're celebrating being 23 in one of my favorite cities ever! How perfect :)

~I've really been slacking with responding to comments and reading blogs and commenting, and this week doesn't look like it'll be too promising either. I'm sorry.

~I don't understand what makes some bloggers so popular. I really, really don't. And no, that doesn't apply to any of you.

~I'm really, really looking forward to things calming down a bit this summer.

That's pretty much all that's going on here. Nothing exciting. Again, thank you all for being such a wonderful support system. I think we all need to move to an island and live our lives together. Wouldn't that be utopia?

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! The storms were in full force at 3am this morning and it sounded like a tornado outside my window. Turns out it was a 15 year old Bradford Pear tree and Pine tree that snapped in half. I wish I could say this is the first time it's happened, but it's not. Our house has also been struck by lightning three times. Life in the midwest ;)



Momma Fargo said...

Sounds like you are feeling better? Glad to hear it. On another note, not sure if I shared this with you on a previous post or not. A dear friend of mine had your same illness and she had to quit working. She researched the disease and found a doctor that also incorporated a new nutrition plan. Found out certain foods made her worse and some better. Once she got on his regimine, she felt marvelous and combined with the drugs was able to go back to work. I saw a total transformation. She is loving life. She went to Kentucky for this doctor. Hope that helps if you haven't already found that same type of thing.


Melissa said...

Sounds like you have A LOT going on. Wowie! I am glad your mental health is better... now you just need to feel better physically!

Good luck. And that withdrawal sounds intense. WOW!

Also... good luck with the nursing program. I hope it all works out.

It sounds like you have an awesome trip coming up and that will be fun...

Anywho... Have a lovely weekend and I'll "talk" with you later!

Casey said...

I'm so glad that you're feeling better! I don't know anything personally about fibromyalgia, but my ex MIL has it and I've seen her suffer with it for years. Depression, on the other hand, I know all too well. Wellbutrin has helped me a ton once I finally admitted that I couldn't do it on my own. Life still sucks a lot of the time, but I'm functioning...I couldn't say that 2 years ago.

Anonymous said...

I am interested in hearing about your medical history. I don't know much about fibromialgia. I'm sorry to hear you have these challenges.

Sounds like you are dealing with it all wisely and learning what works for you.

Best luck with the nursing program.

The Future Missy Prissy RN said...

Marianne! OMG So sorry to hear what is going on, Glad to know you are feeling somewhat better. But wish you could get to 100%. Even with everything brewing in your life, one would never have known unless obviously with you telling. You have such a free spirit, you can get through this. Keep laughing, laughter is food for the soul (know you've heard that one before) but keep doing it, chin up sweetie!!

Pennie said...

As you know, I can relate to your health stuff quite a bit! I've struggled with depression in the past, too - so I know how nasty that can be. Prayers for you Marianne. I mean that when I say that - I really will be in prayer for you. Have fun in Chicago...that's about 6 or so hours from me! :) I'll be thinking of you!

Anne said...

So sorry to hear about the health problems. That is so hard. But it sounds like you are on the right track now with meds so that is awesome. I do know how it goes when you get the WRONG meds. Not cool :-( when are you going to move to MN an become MY babysitter???

Helene said...

The whole anti-depressant merry-go-round is a total bitch and I'm so sorry you're stuck on the ride for now. I really hope you start to feel 100%, both physically and mentally, very soon.

I'm glad you'll know very soon about the nursing program. Maybe you'll start to feel more settled once that decision has been made.

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