Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Save the Drama for your Mama

When I was younger, I'd find myself and others referring to me as, "not your typical (insert any age here)." And you know what? I wasn't. I wasn't the typical pre-teen, I wasn't the typical high-schooler, and I wasn't the typical college student. Pretty much every decision I made was reached after a lot of thought. I never wanted to disappoint my family, so I always tried to do what would be considered "acceptable."

Not to toot my own horn, but I've always been way more mature than my chronological age and don't feel the need to waste time with the nonsense. Now, that's not to say that I never got myself in a pickle, but, for the most part, everything has always been peachy in my life and with my relationships with others.

As I'm sure is the case with everyone, drama seems to always be around in some way, shape, or form. You may not be involved in said drama, but you know it's there. I am of the "drama-free" type; for the most part, it has always managed to stay out of my life. Recently, I've had a lot of people in the most random situations ask me how I managed to avoid the b.s. and drama, especially of the teen years. Actually, I've had a few people ask me how I've avoided nasty comments on the blog, too.

I wish I had a good answer as to how I've kept my life so simple, but I don't. I'm not perfect. I say crazy things all the time. I offend people all the time. I speak before I think all. the. time. But I have some guesses as to why I've never been in a major fight with any of my friends. Or why I've never been the source of vicious rumors. Or why people are genuinely nice to me.

1. I have never in my life tried to "fit in" or be popular. Truly. And I never was popular (for which I thank God, daily. You would too if you knew where the "popular" people I know are these days...). I realized at a young age that the "popular" girls were the meanest, most self absorbed creatures on the face of the planet. I just did what I thought was the right thing, treated everyone with respect, and moved on with my life. Because of this, grade school was less than rainbows and lollipops, but I have no regrets. And in high school, this mindset allowed me to be a floater and be in good standing with everyone. I can honestly say I've held more than one conversation with every single person in my graduating class (196 people). If you give everyone the time of day, chances are, people will like you and be nice to you, regardless of their social standing.

2. I try really, really hard to keep myself from talking bad about others. Do I always succeed? HAHA! Yea right! Hello? Jesus, I am not. Especially in college, where I frequently spoke poorly about roommates. Since I've graduated college, I've done a pretty good job of not talking crap. But, even with all the gossiping I have engaged in, I still managed to avoid the drama. Why? Because I own my words. If I said something mean behind someone's back and they confronted me, I'd own up to it and apologize. Wash the hands and be done with it.

3. I don't hold grudges. Piss me off, I'll be upset for maybe a week. I get over things really easily. I'm also really passive (which isn't necessarily always a good thing, but it is what it is.).

4. I know how to ask for forgiveness and am not afraid to do so.

5. Last, but not least, negative comments on the ole' blog. Honestly, I don't think my blog has had enough exposure to be the victim of negativity, so that would be my best guess as to why I've avoided it. Plus, I don't think I really say anything overly controversial or upsetting. Although that doesn't really seem to matter because I know people who have received really hateful comments regardless of what they post. Or maybe I've just made it abundantly clear that negative words are lost on me and it'd be an immense waste of one's time to tell me how much I suck.

So here's my advice, in case you want it.

Don't try to be someone you aren't. We are all on the same level. I'm no better than the next person, and neither are you. Just keep it real. Be nice. Speak kindly. Know how to forgive and ask for forgiveness. And, if all else fails, remember the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

As far as finding your niche in the blogging world (yes, I know I've only been at it for 7 months), again, be who you are. Keep your post's honest. Let it be a reflection of who you are and who you hope to always be. Don't focus on gaining 901 followers. Yes, it's nice to be recognized, but pimping yourself out across the blogsphere is less than admirable. Followers will come in due time. Blog because you want to blog; because you need to get whatever emotions you are feeling out. Blog because you want to preserve memories to reflect on 10 years from now. Blog because it's cheaper than therapy. Blog for you and no one else. And for the love of God, do NOT leave comments on every blog known to mankind saying, "Great blog! follow me back @ narcisstictool.blogspot.com." Please. And, thank you.

Keep your comments positive and uplifting. Don't leave comments intentionally trying to start a fight. I've seen so many blog wars in my short time in this part of the web and it makes me laugh. I graduated jr. high, how about you? If you disagree with what someone has said, either "argue" with them in a tactful and respectful manner, or click the 'x' and move on. There is no need to start a fight with someone you (most likely) do not know. Especially on a public internet forum. Tacky, with a capital T. The Golden Rule applies here, too.

Listen, I know I can come across as a giant bitch sometimes. I know I'm not perfect, and neither is my life. I know I've made A LOT of mistakes in my life and will make a lot more in the years to come. But, at the end of the day, I like who I am. Every night, if you can look back and have little to no regrets about the decisions you made and the things you said, then, trust me, your life will be drama free, too. And a billion times happier.

Or, if all else fails, remember this: Karma IS a bitch.

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Mei said...

I had no idea what my niche was, but I kept writing and it turned out my niche was some kind of stick figure art... who knew...

Jess said...

We really were separated at birth.

If I copied and pasted this entire post into my own blog, it would legitimately apply to me and my life.

I think that's why I'm having such a hard time with my "work friend issues." I've NEVER dealt with this kind of crap, lol. My friends and I basically just got along.

I'm not always the nicest person on the face of the planet. I lose my patience (to be fair to myself.... it takes A LOT for me to lose my patience, but it happens). I can be rude or snippy.

But, I do try really hard to just be a nice person. I try to find the good in everyone I come into contact with.

Good post!

Tracy said...

Completely agree with what you posted! I'm one who says what I think and doesn't quite always think about what I say. So it gets me into trouble sometimes... however I think most people appreciate my frankness and honesty. Words that I live by... if I'm going to say it behind you're back I will also say it to your face.

Oh... and I have grown up being called "an old soul". All of my friends are older than me... all of em.

lindsey said...

I love your blog!
follow me back @ blahblahblah.blogspot.com

tee hee hee...

I like this post a lot. I started doing the follow posts because I wanted a lot of people to read my blog but then I realized that yes, they follow but they dont read. and if you dont read and comment there is no need to follow.
so yeah, i am over it now.

happy tuesday :)

Anonymous said...

I wish I had more time to leave a longer comment, but this will have to do for now...

There should be a "like" button on blogspot. Great post! Glad your comming out of this blogging rut! Hope I do too!

Anne said...

Dude. Awesome post!!! You rule. I have had my fair share of drama in my life but I feel like I am getting into a more 'drama-free' zone now. And I like it!

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