Thursday, July 15, 2010

Pilates Schmilates

It's no secret that I loathe working out. Nothing about it invigorates me. Everything about it makes me hate my body. So twisted and ass-backwards, right?

However, tonight, at a mat pilates class, in the midst of wanting to amputate every limb of my body, I had to fight back the incredible urge to bust out laughing. "Why?" you may ask. Well here's my current facebook status:

Dear Girl Behind Me in Pilates Class,
Just a thought, but you may want to consider taking a gas-x or two before class next time.
Best regards,

Yes folks, I had a compulsive flatulator (just made up a word) behind me. It was so bad that at one point when we were on our backs and legs in table top position, every contraction of our abdomen that we made, a little fart would sneak out behind me.

At least it made me hate the hour session a little less.

And in completely unrelated news, Mel Gibson claims to be a Catholic. His anti-Semitic rant a few years back made me question this. His recent morphing into a women beating, racist bigot makes me realize he is no more Catholic than those perverted priests that are (all too often) in the news. He's a disgrace to Catholicism, to America, and to man-kind. Registered & Protected


Tree said...

OMG! I think I would've had to laugh out loud! She HAD to have known what she was doing...geez! Be sure to stay FAR away from her next time! :)

Kristin Morris said...

HAHA, I really couldn't keep that to myself. I must say, I would say something to her, or just laugh quietly. Or not so quietly, maybe she might figure it out! hehe. Anywho, hope you were gassed out of there too soon. And I agree aout Mel Gibson, who does he think he is? Obiously someone, something he truly isn't. He needs to just go away, by hisself peace out, and in esscence Grow Up. :) Great post, too funny!

Rosh said...

I don't know how you didn't burst into laughter - I would have been in hysterics! What can I say, I have a very immature sense of humor.

I tried a yoga class one time with a friend and we had a lady in our class that kept letting out really deadly farts and just did not care. Everyone slowly moved their mats away from her, which was funny to watch all in itself. I think we got a better ab workout from trying to contain our laughter than from yoga that night!

Rosh said...

Forgot to add that I love the new profile pic! =)

Melissa said...

I saw your 'Facebook' status and I "liked" it. Too funny! Were the farts loud? Could you hear them? SO funny!!!

Katherine said...

Hahaha! Let me tell you what's worse than that. Get about 20 pregnant women together to do Yoga. Now that ends in some pretty heavy flatulence. Wow!

Yeah, I grew up Catholic, and we do not need any more bad publicity then we already have. Mel Gibson is a disgrace!

Pennie said...

Be glad you were IN FRONT of her at Pilates, right???? hahahahaha!

You're a riot, Marianne!

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