Don't Read this Post if you're a Man

Seriously, don't. It talks about girly things.

Have you clicked off, Jim? Joe? Uncle Mac? Nate?

Good bye!

Ok, good.

Ladies, which one of y'all will give me a kid? I only ask because I'm about to perform my own total hysterectomy.

Aunt Flo has won the battle. I'm waving the white flag as high as possible.

I became a woman when I was 12. I've wanted to become a menopausal woman everyday since then. I was put on birth control when I was 14. Now, supposedly the Pill prevents cramps, irregular periods, heavy cycles, clotting, etc.

Ah, yes. Clearly BC developers have never met my reproductive system. Neither have those liars that claim working out helps alleviate cramps. Lies, I tell ya. All lies.

The only benefit (because it sure as hell hasn't helped my PCOS or endometriosis) I've found from taking the Pill for the past 9 years is that I can skip the monthly demon. And believe me, I do. I think I went 7 months between cycles, on purpose, until Flo had other plans and has released her wrath on me for the past 3 weeks.

I'm. Over. It. So very, very over it.

So you mom's reading this-- wanna give me one of your kids? Helene, you have 4, surely you can spare one? Jenna, ditto to you. Anyone? Bueller?

Damn.

Maybe if there was a Period Fairy (similar to the tooth fairy), ala the idea of Bella (who might be my favorite little girl in the world, she's freakin hysterical), Helene's daughter, I'd be less inclined to whine.

Too bad there isn't a test to determine fertility, you know, without doing THE test. Because I would have signed up for that yesterday. I think my doc is finally starting to believe me when I say something very bad will happen if I am unable to have my own child. Very bad.

*end whining*