Monday, March 8, 2010

Keith Morrison: Man of Mystery

Have you ever watched 48 Hours or Dateline and wondered who the narrator was? You know, the man with the musty voice who has the perfect amount of creepiness and mysteriousness to accurately portray the events being discussed? That fine man of a journalist is none other than Keith Morrison. *Click the link if you are unfamiliar with this man and his voice*



For some odd reason, this man is a topic of conversation many days of my life. With my mom, with a random person I meet, with Helene. He's just too hilarious not to talk about. So imagine my shock and excitement when, on Friday, I was training a new volunteer in the NICU and she told me a heartbreaking story about her son and the jerk of an OB that delivered him. Long story short, the doctor sucked and this lady filed a malpractice lawsuit against him. Apparently 48 Hours caught wind of it and decided to do a story. Who interviewed the lady I was training? None other than K.M. himself. After she told me he had in fact been the interviewer, I believe I said, "Oh. Em. Gee. (Catholic hospital, can't use the Lord's name in vain). Is he as creepy in real life? My friend and I have a theory that he's committed half the crimes he reports on." She just laughed, so I take that as a yes.

Anyhow, I emailed Helene, because we have an undying love for the man and I knew she'd get a kick out of it. And because she's far more witty than I could ever be, I've decided to share her hilarious email with all of you. The fact that I was watching Dateline (and Keith was the narrator that evening) when I read it made it all the better. Many of you probably think I'm weirder than weird, but that's OK. At least I know Helene is with me on this one (my mom, too. She thinks he's a closet sociopath.)

Me: Oh my God, I just met someone who has been interviewed by our beloved Keith Morrison. I think I shat myself.

Helene: I can totally hear it....

"So where was Marianne on that fateful afternoon when she discovered a real live person who had been interviewed by Keith "the creep" Morrison? Some would say she was on her way to Myrtle Beach to enjoy a relaxing vacation with her mother. Others would say she was simply asking for trouble the minute she opened her mouth to make small talk with a mysterious stranger. But those close to Marianne say they know the cold, hard truth. She was about to embark on a horrendous journey - a journey that would change her life....forever".

"When we return...we'll talk to Marianne's family. They claim to know the deep, dark secret that she was trying to cover up at the time of her disappearance...but how much do they REALLY know? And what does a self-indulgent man with a small penis and bizarre sexual fetishes, who went by the name of Butch, have to do with the what REALLY happened to Marianne?"

If that clever gem of an email didn't make you laugh (which it should have, because I got a neck cramp I was laughing so hard), how about these little videos?

SNL- Keith Morrison

SNL- Keith Morrison 2

Hope y'all have a lovely week!



P.S. Do you want a chance to win some beautiful jewelry? Pop over to the Boob Nazi's blog and read for details!

10 comments:

Helene said...

I knew I should've gone to the bathroom before I read this because I think I peed in my pants a little bit from laughing so hard!!!

Our theory that he's committed half the crimes he reports on cracked me up. He's the silent accomplice...I wonder how he keeps a straight face the whole time.

I wonder who would interview him if/when he ever gets caught? We could be the Keith Morrison fan club...maybe we should start one on Facebook. There's got to be other KM fans, right? Or maybe we're the only ones?

I'm gonna link to your post...it's too good to not share!!

Helene said...

How's that for a short comment? Although I think yours was shorter. I'm feeling a little ripped off now.

BTW, you've NEVER tried sushi?! Next time you're in CA, Bella and I will take you to try it...she's a sushi conniseur (spelling?). And she's only 5...imagine that?

Casey said...

That's hilarious! He is a little creepy, now that you mention it...

Merri Ann said...

That is hysterical ... I can't watch that man ... but I thought I was the only one LOL.

Don't try sushi unless your in California at a good place. You will love it !!!

We so miss it being in Texas ...

Now I'm going to be thinking about that weirdo all day ... thanks a bunch ...

Merri Ann said...

And ... did you notice that I sorted out my picture thingie ????

Now I need to organize all the peeps on my blogroll and re follow a bunch...

So much blog stuff ... so little time ... I still haven't done my taxes ...:))

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

That was hilarious!! He is creepy. Poor guy if he found this!

Robin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robin said...

Hi I found you from Helene..thought you might like this..

http://carmasez.blogspot.com/2010/03/another-one-of-my-weird-obsessions.html

its about Keith...LOL

Jenna @ Newlyweds said...

OMG, how hilarious!! He is so creepy and that SNL video is so funny.

Love helene, she is the best.

Anonymous said...

I wondered if I were the only woman who finds this guy VERY strange-looking! I equate him with the Chucky doll. Or the kid "Gage" in Pet Sematary AFTER he came back from the grave. He's probably married - but to WHAT? He's s horror movie all by himself. A very good narrator nonetheless...Keith, I hope I haven't hurt your feelings - you really do a good job on the show.

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