Thursday, October 14, 2010

I should have named my blog, "Diary of a Boring & Fickle White Woman"

I've read a few blog posts lately that have literally made me laugh out loud. I instantly thought, "Wah! I wanna be funny again!" I miss having funny stories to share with you from Or driving. Or babysitting. Or just my typical crazy antics.

But the truth is, my life has been incredibly boring lately. Don't get me wrong, I still say crazy one-liners all the time (like the text I sent to my mom, "I'm pretty sure someone is man-handling my uterus,") sorry to my male readers if I just made you want to stab out your eyes and run around singing, "LALALALALALA" until the image gets out of your head. but they just aren't worthy of an entire post.

So let's catch you up to speed on the boringness, shall we?

I'm hardly babysitting at all. Maybe once every other week. BUT! I have a trial with a family next week and if it works out for both of us, I'll be working MWF 8-4 until July.

I still have as active of a social life as someone in solitary confinement.

I've lost 16 pounds since my heaviest (which was in June or July. I can't remember), but I've been hanging at this number for a couple months. Lame. I'm hoping C25K kicks it into gear again. Speaking of which, I couldn't run today because we had thunderstorms and rain for the first time since July. Literally. We've been in a major drought. Tomorrow I shall do it, though.

And, I haven't dropped advanced physiology. I've already paid for the class and it's way past time to drop it and get any money back, so I decided to stick it out and try my hardest.

You may be asking, "But Marianne, I thought you had to get a C+ on your first time taking it."

To that I say, "Stalk, much?"

But, yes, you would be correct. Sort of. Turns out, the school where I'm taking the class doesn't do +'s and -'s, but the school I'm applying to requires a C+ minimum. With no p's and m's, that means I have to get a B the first time taking it if I stay where I currently am taking it. If I don't, I'm not allowed to apply to the program for FIVE YEARS.

KALFJALSKFJ! RIDICULOUS! Insert panic/stress. But I'm still sticking it out and taking my chances.

"But, why?"

Well, simple. There is no guarantee that dropping it and taking it elsewhere will make the class any less difficult. Sure, my professor is a psych ward escapee, but the material is hard, regardless. She certainly makes it far more difficult than it needs to be, but that's neither here, nor there. I could drop the class, take it somewhere else next semester, and have a crap professor who doesn't know what he/she's talking about, is super sweet though, and still gives ridiculously hard exams. Or maybe the problem is me and I'm just a giant idiot who cannot understand advanced physiology, which is entirely possible. (note: not fishing for complements, so don't feel the need to tell me I'm brilliant.)

Well, that and the fact that I decided I won't be applying to the program I had planned on.

I bet y'all think I'm hugely bipolar, don't you? It's OK, I'm starting to wonder, too. Because, honestly, I do sound looney. I've changed my mind SO. MANY. TIMES. But, I have good reasons. Er, ok, I have reasons, but, they may not be good. Depends who you ask.

1. If I get a B in this class, I'll be writing to the Pope and requesting it be recognized as a miracle.

2. The program cost $48,000. I already have loans from degree 1 and due to federal regulations, second-degree students cannot qualify for financial aid. I could get loans, but wouldn't qualify for much (which is nutty considering I make, like, a nickel a month). I, theoretically, could get scholarships through outside organizations, but I have yet to find one where I qualify (again, because I'm second-degree). Since I'm not a magician, pulling money out of thin air was not going to happen.

3. I was being required to take another chemistry class because the one I took "wasn't enough." This is the only school I've looked at that's had a problem with it. They also required a full semester of other classes to take, some of which HAD to be taken through them. I was looking at over $8,000 in credits alone for next semester. And that is not part of the 48k for the program.

4. The icing on the cake? They were going to make me retake intro to theology. The school is Catholic, so it's a requirement for anyone who gets a degree from them to have some theology credits. Fine. No biggie. I went to a Catholic university, I took 15 credits of religious studies, I went to Catholic schools for 17 years, I'm not worried about this.

False assumptions. They accepted my upper-level religion credits for their upper-level theology requirements, but would not take my intro to religion for their intro to theology. I politely fought this and was eventually told to take it up with the head of the theology department. I'm not going to go into all the details, but let's just say the meeting consisted of him accusing me of lying, me crying (not because of anything he said), him telling me I've never taken the class, me saying, "You can tell me left, right, and center that I've never taken this, but I have. Catholicism is Catholicism, I don't care how you teach it," and then me gathering my stuff and saying, "I can see this isn't going to go anywhere and is unproductive, thank you for your time," as I walked out the door.

The things he said to me, the way he treated me from the first day I contacted him (our meeting was not our first communication), he responses to my questions, his accusations, etc. all made me realize this school wasn't the right fit for me. And please don't make any assumptions regarding my decision and the meeting, since I didn't tell the whole story. I'll openly admit I wasn't as respectful as I could have been, but when you are being verbally attacked, you do what you gotta do.

So what am I going to do?

Well, I'm not going to go to nursing school anymore.


Totally kidding. HAHA! Evil, aren't I? You were probably like, "This chick is a nut case," and then immediately wanted to delete me from your blog roll.

Nursing is the only job I see myself doing. Every time I go to the NICU, I know I'm meant to be a nurse. I just need to cross all these hurdles that I've come across in my efforts to add RN to my name. I'm applying to two other accelerated bachelor's programs in Indiana, one of which I think I have a really good shot of getting into. The other, meh, not so much, but I'm going to apply anyway. Both would have me starting in July or August.

And if I don't get into either?

You will find me in a straight-jacket, receiving electro-shock therapy, with a tequila/morphine IV pumping through my veins. Registered & Protected


Big Fat Gini said...

What do you MEAN you're not funny? I think you're hysterical. And brilliant. And personally, I think Fickle White Woman RN sounds fantastic!

Hang in there, you'll make it!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I agree, you're writing is very funny!

Congrats on the weight loss!

It's just me :) said...

Geez girl. You just about gave me a heart attack!

Don't worry about all the changes. You are making a huge decision and will be spending a huge amount of time in Nursing School. You need to make sure that whichever one you choose is right for you, otherwise Hell, I mean Nursing School, will be that much more difficult.

Congrats on the weight loss. That is a huge accomplishment! I think I should probably pick up the C25K thing again myself now that the weather here is getting better. (meaning upper 80's and humid instead of 100's and humid :p)

Jess said...

1) You're hysterical. No worries.

2) All of that made me very, very tired, lol.

3) You're still moving to Florida, right?

4) Week 2, Day 2 is A LOT easier than Week 2, Day 1. Even though they are exactly the same, I found it to be waaayyyyy easier. My entire body is tired, this morning, but last night I felt great!

Helene said...

Uh, dude, you're funny even when you're not trying to be funny. I'll have you know that I can't watch Keith Morrison anymore without laughing hysterically and you're not even THERE, that's how funny you are.

I know all these hurdles are a huge PITA but you just keep plugging away. You are gonna be a damn fantastic nurse when all is said and done!!!!!!

Oh and you should probably put a disclaimer on your resume for that babysitting job that you reserve the right to blog about all funny, embarrassing and smelly experiences which happen while on the job (changing names and places to protect the innocent, of course...or maybe not, depending on how embarrassing it was).

lindsey said...

I was so close to pushing delete...
LOL. Just kiddin. Your freaking hilarious and I love your blog. No matter if you have a hilarious story or if your ranting and raving about school.

Jenn said... about a bouncy post! :) Sounds like your right about your program/school not being a fit for you...I hope you'll be able to find a school that will feel better. I know it has to be frustrating to KNOW what you want to do, but not be able to DO what you want to do! I'm sure it will all pan out...the money, the school, the classes...and one day you'll look back and think it really all was worth it! Keep your head up! :)

Melissa said...

Well good luck Marianne! When you wrote I am not going to nursing school, I about wet myself. But at least you are kidding (see, you are funny!).

Hopefully you will get into a great school and it will all work out.

and hopefully this babysitting gig will all work out.


Adriane said...

OK, this is a test run to see if I set up the email doohickey correctly. :-) Your tutorial was most helpful, thank you, ma'am!

Ugh. C25K. We finished Week 2, Day 2 earlier this week and were supposed to do Day 3 today, BUT...I have shin splints from HELL! OMG, I look like an 95-year-old woman shuffling to and fro. This is really gonna piss me off if my damn legs derail my plans, especially because I feel like I'm waaay less winded than when we started just a couple of weeks ago. Wahhh!!!

Pink, Green, and Southern said...

If only my blog posts were as amusing as yours. I cannot even imagine trying to take that physiology class, so you're already doing better than I would be! As for the nursing school, you're going to be taking the same boards at the ends, so it really doesn't matter where you go.

Also, I've run into a lot of problems with the second degree thing too. I get some kind of state lottery scholarship, but it doesn't pay for that much. The government kind of sucks on that end.

Good luck with the new babysitting job!!

purplume said...

I think your persistence and seeking are better than brilliance.

Related Posts with Thumbnails