Then you've come to the right place.
Before any of you report me to PETA for animal abuse, let me explain.
Almost every dog we've ever owned has been a fan of some kind of mind altering drug. Out first Cocker Spaniel (which my parents owned before us kids came into the picture) once got into a package of Haldol (my dad used to sell it). Haldol is the heaviest anti-psychotic, commonly used for paranoid schizophrenics. Doggie was stoned. This is the same dog that ate an entire pound of Fannie Mae chocolates. And didn't die. He had have had 9 lives.
Then our sweet Cocker, Spunky, used to drink beer and wine all the time. Never much, but he'd drink what he could get his hands on.
This past Wednesday, Macklin, our half-Bichon half-Cocker Spaniel, apparently needed a lil' somethin' somethin' to ease the mind. My mom took a glass of wine outside, set it on a lower table, and went off to water the flowers. She came back some minutes later to find the glass completely empty. Mack had jumped up on a chair, walked on the table, and drank the wine. All without knocking the glass over or breaking it. Rather impressive, if you ask me.
But wait, it gets better. For some reason, my mother decided to give him his daily dose of Benadryl for his allergies post-wine consumption. So now we have a 20lb dog with a benadryl in his system and a glass of Chardonnay.
Baby got drunk. Real drunk. And I wasn't home to witness the best part, as he was apparently running into doors and losing his balance (although he was still really loopy when I got home). So, of course, being the caring and concerned "mom" that I am, immediately instructed my mother to grab the video camera and record him in his drunken stupor. If you watch him, you'll notice he keeps walking in circles acting confused, his feet slip out from underneath him, and, well, getting onto the couch is sad, but comical, and then he looks just about dead lying in my brother's lap. And I realize this may be one of those, "you had to be there" moments, but oh well.
If you don't want to hear my mother's side of the phone conversation with me and apologies to the dog, keep the volume off. And ignore the white dog, Murphy. He's an (adorable, sweet) attention-whore.
I called the emergency vet to ask what to do; all they said was keep a close eye on him and let him sleep it off. He had to sleep with me that night because I wanted to make sure he was OK. Of course, I woke up every 45 minutes to make sure he was breathing. After sweating like crazy, waking up around 3 to guzzle a cup of water, and sleeping it off, Mackie's first time being drunk was over.
But the laughter has lasted for days :)
Special thanks to Pam & Adriane for giving me advice to use youtube after I cursed blogger. *Cue song "I get by with a little help from my friends..."**
Mei, I loved your idea of interpretive dance. It actually would have been a pretty good interpretation, as I always look drunk when I try to dance ;)