Diary of a Fickle White Woman

1. Why was Kate Gosselin at the Emmys? Doesn't one need to contribute something worthwhile to the acting world to be invited to the Emmys? Apparently not. 2. What the hell was she wearing? Joan Rivers, when asked what she thought of the dress, said, "WHO CARES?! She needs to go home, stay there, and learn her kids' names." Now, I certainly wouldn't describe this woman as the fashionista she obviously thinks she is, but seriously, how can a woman look in the mirror and think a dress that makes her look like a giant box is flattering? And girlfriend is not fat (hello, she had a free tummy tuck), but zoiks, that makes her look more full in the tummy. It's just a terrible cut and the boob area is so classless. Such a pity. But, I'll be nice and say her face and looks beautiful, her hair is OK, and her jewelry is nice. At least she doesn't look this ridiculous: Rita Wilson also looks like a box. And those shoes have left me speechless. January Jones looks l...

Then you've come to the right place. Before any of you report me to PETA for animal abuse, let me explain. Almost every dog we've ever owned has been a fan of some kind of mind altering drug. Out first Cocker Spaniel (which my parents owned before us kids came into the picture) once got into a package of Haldol (my dad used to sell it). Haldol is the heaviest anti-psychotic, commonly used for paranoid schizophrenics. Doggie was stoned. This is the same dog that ate an entire pound of Fannie Mae chocolates. And didn't die. He had have had 9 lives. Then our sweet Cocker, Spunky, used to drink beer and wine all the time. Never much, but he'd drink what he could get his hands on. This past Wednesday, Macklin, our half-Bichon half-Cocker Spaniel, apparently needed a lil' somethin' somethin' to ease the mind. My mom took a glass of wine outside, set it on a lower table, and went off to water the flowers. She came back some minutes later to find the glass completel...

I have a post about my drunk dog typed and ready to go. I created a video. Uploaded it to blogger. Waited for-freakin-ever for it to finish loading. Clicked play to make sure it works. And what happens? NOTHING. aknflaksgnlakgalkwjflakj. ( It says an error has occurred. If anyone knows how to help me and wants to, I'd appreciate it. ficklewhitewoman@gmail.com. Otherwise, you are just going to have to use your imaginations as to what a drunk dog looks like. And, really, that'd be a shame. Also, I have a sad, sad, feeling my visits to blogland are going to be few and far between this semester, compliments of advanced physiology. Tear :'(. I'm going to try and post once a week, but that may be the extent of it, which makes me really sad, as writing keeps me sane. So if I don't visit your site much in the next four months, don't take it personally, just blame it on my psycho A&P prof. And then figure out a way to convince her to give me an A, regardless. Then I...

"There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart." Celia Thaxter I realize this week's is very similar to last week's, but I couldn't decide between the two (no surprise there), so I just did them both :) Image from Google Images

Jen @ Brown Eyed Girl tagged me in this little Q & A. Apparently I'm supposed to answer her questions and then ask 8 of my own and tag some of you fine people. Oy. I'm horrible at coming up with interesting questions, so we'll see what I can do. For now, here are her Q's and my A's. 1. What is your favorite beverage? Crystal Light Lemonade (pink or original), flavored sparkling water, milk, Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry, Diet Root Beer, Coke Zero, wine (Chardonnay or Pinot Grigio), Vodka and Lemonade, frozen margarita's, Twisted Monkeys! Oh those are the best! It's ice in a blender, Bicardi Limon, lemonade, and a splash of cranberry juice. So good! 2. What is (are) your must have item (s) when you leave the house? Hmm, beats me. If I'm driving, obviously my purse and cell phone. If I'm riding, usually just myself. I don't like having things attached to me at all times. 3. What is your favorite vacation spot? Siesta Key, FL; All over Hawai'i (al...

Well, Ian relinquished control of "Monday Minute" for the rest of time, and it is now being hosted by Heather @ In the Land of Crazy & Melissa @ Day to Day Living . This week is also being cohosted by Not Your Average Single Momma . Did you follow all that? Anyway, here are the questions: What is your favorite 80s flick? Adventures in Babysitting, Ghostbuster's, Dirty Dancing, & Risky Business One genre of music needs to be banned. Which genre? Anything that remotely sounds like Insane Clown Posse or heavy metal. What is your all time favorite candy? Sour Patch Kids. Gummy Bears. Riesen. Anything with chocolate and peanut butter. Skittles. Starburst. (Have you noticed when it says "what is your favorite?" I always list more than one thing? Clearly I'm incapable of picking favorites.) How 'flawed' is your driving record? Perfect! I did get a speeding ticket a couple years ago, but I did the deferral program, which removed any trace of the tic...

"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability." Sam Keen

Let it be known that this entire summer, I have been stuck in a huge rut. I haven't volunteered at the hospital at all, I haven't babysat as much as usual, I've worked out maybe 10 times, and I haven't done much blogging (but you all probably noticed that). While I've enjoyed the weather and being outside, as the days pass by, I realize how much bigger that rut keeps getting and how desperately I need to pull myself out. The list of ways to get my life back on track is quite extensive, but I'm hopeful that a change will come sooner rather than later. First up on that list: class. I'm the type of person that thrives on routine, which is funny considering I know I'd hate my life if I worked an 8-5 office job. Anyhow, staying busy and having something to do daily is best for my mind and body. Unfortunately, any sense of strict routine went out the window when I went to college, and has yet to return. I go to bed late, wake up late, eat, maybe babysit, watch...

The caption couldn't be more spot on. image found on lamebook.com

It's Monday. Again. Ian is co-hosting "Monday Minute" with Kendra from Baby Bits . Hope you guys had a great weekend! Hopefully I'll be able to recap my weekend as "Mom" sometime this week. 1. What was your "oh no, I'm turning into my Mom/Dad" moment? Well, obviously I'm not a mom, but since I am an honorary mom, I can still answer this. I continually find myself saying the dreaded, horrid, worst-answer-ever response to "Why?!" with "Because I said so, that's why!" ::Shudders:: Or the time I caught myself pouring a class of wine after a long day of babysitting and realized why so many parents drink every night. Or the time I apologized to my parents for never listening after I got incredibly frustrated with the kids not listening to me. What current commercial do you find the most annoying/funny? The Orkin commercials with the roach crack me up. I loathe the Pertussis vaccine ad, all Geico commercials, all Progressi...

Oh Laura Erika, how I've missed thee! Erika is the lovely writer of The Girl Next Door Grows Up . Not only was she one of my very first followers, but her Feel Good Friday meme (ps, still looking for an alternative word to use here), was one of the very first blog posts I did! I L.O.V.E. this woman and her blog and her quirkiness and, oh, I just want to give her a hug! Anyway, I haven't participated in Feel Good Friday in way too long and I've really missed it. I think it's such a great way to remember the great times from the week and forget about the bad. If you'd like to play along and share some of your good times from the week, hop on over to her blog and choose one of the 5 prompts. Don't forget to link up! I have decided to write about a couple things that made me really, really happy this week: 1. On Monday, I had my Microbiology final exam. My grade in this class all summer has been a mid B because I did horribly on one freakin' exam. I was really...

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. Franklin P. Jones I thought this was fitting as I will be playing 'mom' to three kids (4, 3, 15mos) Friday-Sunday. Fortunately, they're my regular kids and I absolutely adore them, so I'm excited and they are, too :) Also, does anyone else find this image to be incredibly, um, odd? Image from Google Images

Before: When I first joined match, I made a profile that was nice, down to earth, and a good indication of who I was and what I was hoping to find. However, I wasn't so in your face about what I was looking for in a match. After: Now, I'm over the scam that is online dating. My profile is still a good indication of who I am... just much more matter of fact. Too many men in their late 40s with kids my age were hitting on me. Too many men without a high school diploma. Too many men shorter than me and way too friendly with the bottle. So I took matters into my own hands mapped out exactly what I was(n't) looking for: Warning: If you aren't prepared for total honesty, read no further. After much consideration, I've decided I need to include the following. I was hesitant at first because I don't want to come across as a completely picky and abrasive whack-job, but I need to make the most of my membership. So here it goes. There are a few things I'm not willing t...

Hey all, how was your weekend? My brother turned 25 on Saturday and my Grams turned 89 on Sunday, so we had some family over to celebrate their lives. Otherwise, I laid low and studied for my microbiology final that I take tonight. Since it's Monday, I thought I'd participate in Ian's 'Monday Minute.' This week, Ian is co-hosting with Jenn from Brown Eyed Girl . Be sure to visit both their blogs. If you want to play along, copy and answer the questions, then link up! 1. Describe your life in one word. Chaotic or complicated. 2. Is there something you wished you had learned to do as a child? A cartwheel. It's the most pathetic site, to see me attempt to do one. 3. Who has been the biggest influence on your life? I don't really know. I guess my mom. She's shown me how to be a strong, independent woman. 4. What is your greatest dream/hope/aspiration? To be a mom to many children. Please, like y'all didn't know the answer to that. It's the one a...