And now, we wait.

I had that stupid beyond stupid (does that even make sense?) TEAS exam today. It was SO stupid.

Oh wait, I said that already, didn't I?

I studied all week and stressed about it all week and may or may not have broke down in tears yesterday. Twice. I was totally prepared to come home, tears in my eyes, and write a post that I had already written in my mind about how I failed the exam and have no clue where my life is headed and beg people to find me a job in a handful of different states I'd be willing to live in, & was obviously just being the biggest Negative Nelly you've ever met. Which is so not me.

I took the exam at 12:30 and was finished by 2:45. It was hard. Significantly harder than the exam I busted my ass for last March. The study manual for the science section was a waste-- the exam was A LOT more detailed than the manual. Since I had already convinced myself that I was going to fail and my life was over and I've wasted two years and I might as well down a bottle of vicodin (totally kidding), I just finished the exam and clicked submit, feeling emotionless.

And then, the results: I PASSED!!!! Not by a ton, by any means. I certainly didn't blow it out of the water like last time, but I PASSED. I also scored higher than the national average and program average, which inflated my ego a smidge.

I came home & wrote the essay required for the application. For all you nosey peeps, here it is (I totally played up the whole God part. They clearly value religion, given some of their application questions.):

My first memory of stating, “I want to be a nurse!” when asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is when I was nine-years-old and had to answer the question for a writing assignment. Two years prior, a friend had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and spent most of the six years he battled the disease at either Riley Children’s Hospital or St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. At such a young age, the best way my parent’s were able to explain what was happening to me was by saying, “Mikey is sick and needs to let the doctors and nurses make him feel better.” From that moment on, I knew I wanted to be in a position where I could help the sick.
As I grew older, I changed my mind several times regarding my future career, but nursing was always in the back of my mind. In 2009, I received a BA in Communications/Journalism, which I think will be an asset when communicating with patients and medical personnel alike. The semester before earning my degree is when I prayed long and hard about what I felt was a calling to continue my education and attend nursing school. While I had always thought I would make a wonderful nurse and love the profession, the calling I felt made me also realize I need to be a nurse and need to be in an environment in which I help others; it is where I will find the greatest satisfaction and sense of achievement.
Since that time, I have embraced what I consider to be a message from God and have actively been pursuing a BSN by taking various prerequisites, including anatomy and physiology, advanced physiology, microbiology, chemistry, and a couple psychology classes. While I have learned a great deal from these courses that will undoubtedly play a key role in my success as a nursing student, the greatest learning experience has come through my volunteer work in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at St. Vincent’s Women’s Hospital. Since June 2009, I have been volunteering in the NICU at least four hours a week, doing whatever tasks the nurses and unit representatives ask of me. Such tasks include: filing charts, restocking supplies, doing laundry, changing diapers, taking temperatures, redressing babies, cuddling babies, changing leads, and running labs to the pharmacy. I have built bonds with the nurses, who have become wonderful mentors and cheerleaders. I knew volunteering in the hospital would be a great experience, but I never knew just how much hands-on experience I would be allowed and how big of a learning experience it has truly been for me.
As a 23-year-old, I feel that I am at the point in my life where I am emotionally, mentally, and spiritually mature enough to meet my full potential as a nurse. After a lot of research, I feel Indiana Wesleyan University will be the best fit for me to continue my education because of its long-standing reputation and faith-based environment. I look forward to furthering my education and am eager to begin my career as a nurse.

I rushed to the post office right before it closed and over-nighted the letter since all parts of the application is due by February 1. As of tomorrow at 3, my application will be completed.

And now, we wait. I have no clue when we are supposed to get word, so pardon me if I'm a little edgy from now until July.

Shout out to it's just me :)-- you have no idea how much your email meant to me. You made me start my day off on the right foot and it only went up from there. Thanks so much for your encouragement!!