My day certainly didn't go the way I had intended, but then again, does it ever?
I woke up to a text message that made me smile from ear to ear. The sun was shining, I went tanning, got in a good workout, and was off to work for a few hours. The day was just going great.
Then I went to Home Depot and shit went south.
So there I am, walking through the parking lot, when this crazy broad comes tearing around the corner at 50mph (slight exaggeration. Sue me.), ready to whip it into the handicap parking spot when I am so startled by someone so reckless that I must look like a dear in headlights (pun not intended).
She stares at me with this evil witch look like, "Move you piss ant, I must park my super cool PT Cruiser NOW!"
And I'm all, "OK, fine. I'll pretend you didn't just almost hit me and carry on my way."
So I take a step forward, and do you know what this person does?! HITS THE DAMN GAS!
What. The. Heck?!?!
Naturally, I stop again and look at her. She clearly says something and moves her hand in a motion like, "WTF?! I want to park there, get out of my way!"
So I stand there and wait for her to park, only she doesn't move her car and says, "Are you stupid?"
Oh HELL NO.
I walked around the other side of her car to get out of the way and noticed her passenger window was down, so I flipped and screamed "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! I'm just walking into the damn store when you came out of nowhere, driving like a drunk, and damn near hit me. Pop a Xanax!"
And then I hightailed it into the store, thinking I'd be safe, but fully expecting to find my car keyed and tires slashed once I went back outside.
But of course the story doesn't end there, because, per usual, my life is just full of ridiculous moments.
There I am, standing in the knob and pulls aisle when a construction worker joins me. I'm pondering over which pulls to buy for a dresser I'm re-doing when I hear him grunting and can feel him undressing me with his eyes. Creep. I give him the side eye and a half smile and return to my business.
He keeps grunting.
I keep gagging.
Finally, I decide that I'll come back another time and walk away, when he grunts one last time and adds, "DAYUM" for good measure.
First I get hit on at stop lights, and now at the hardware store. What the heck is next?!
And that, folks, was my 10 minute trip to Home Depot.
**note: I'm the least confrontational person ever, but the PT Cruiser bitch had it coming. I mean, honestly? I'm stupid because you're being an irrational, reckless driver? Also, she wasn't old and, from what I could tell, wasn't even handicapped, so it wasn't like I told off a granny or something.**
**sorry for the cussing**