Monday, April 18, 2011

Apologizing No More

When I first started blogging, I really wasn't sure how long it would last, how much I would have to say, and how many wonderful people I'd meet (in person and virtually). I began reading blogs right after I had graduated college. I was unemployed, trying to adjust to life post-college, unsure of where my future was headed, having several health issues not being managed, and, really, pretty depressed. I liked reading about other people's lives so that I didn't have to think about my own, even though in June 2009 I did actually start this blog and intend to right about my life. At that time, though, I only managed to write one post, come up with a title, and throw a background up.

I abandoned my blog for seven months before returning full force. I liked the idea of putting my journalism degree to some type of use and to also meet new people and gain support from people with unbiased opinions. But, as my readership grew, I began to feel the pressure to follow those who follow me. Comment on those blogs who comment on mine, and reply to comments. Read each and every post that pops up in my dashboard. And, most importantly, blog at least every other day. I did pretty well for awhile and, for the most part, enjoyed every aspect of blogging.

As the months went by, my course load became more intense, I began to work more hours each week, I still had to keep up with my responsibilities at home, and I still wasn't feeling so great about where my life was going-- especially with all the uncertainty regarding nursing school that lasted way. too. long. Half not wanting to continually write posts where I whine or sound like Debbie Downer and half not having the time or energy, my blogging became more and more infrequent.

Unfortunately, my lack of blogging took an even bigger toll on me. I'd feel incredibly guilty for not blogging more often, even worse for not reading others, and worse, still, for not replying to comments (or emails, for that matter) in a timely matter, and, sometimes, not at all. I've written countless posts apologizing for my absence, made personal promises to get back on track, and think regularly, "I need to blog about this." And while I do feel bad, I cannot apologize any longer.

The fact of the matter is, I love blogging, I truly do. I love the connections I've made, the way it allows me to express myself, and the endless support I receive. However, I have so much going on that I cannot allow myself to feel guilty for not spending more time on blogger. I'll do it when I can and not fret when I can't.

Do you know how many times I've logged on in the past 10 days? Twice. One of which was 10 minutes ago, to write this post and possibly another. I have an immense amount of reading that I could catch up on, but I also have cleaning and organizing to do, friends to spend time with, kids to babysit, and a million other things to take care of. So if I do catch up and you see a comment from me on a post that was written two weeks ago, great. But if I don't get around to it, I'm OK with that, too.

I'm not abandoning my blog. I certainly have so much to share now and in the future, especially as I embark on my nursing school journey. But don't be surprised if my popping in is more sporadic and my commenting is less frequent. I'm 23 and enjoying living my life. I cannot let blogging become a burden, otherwise, my infrequency will likely evolve into non-existence.



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12 comments:

Zazzy Episodes said...

I hear ya loud and clear skipper! No hurt feelings or grudges right back attcha, go and enjoy your life. SMELL THE TULIPS :-)

Helene said...

I totally get it! Life is too short...go and have fun!!! I haven't been posting or commenting as much lately either and it'll be even more sporadic after school gets out for summer.

I'm just glad I can keep up with you on FB!!

jag said...

So, you basically just read my mind! You rock sista! Just let it be fun. That's my NEW blogging promise. Blog when you feel like it, don't when you don't. Say hi when you're compelled to, and know that people understand that you're busy. At least, that's what I keep telling myself;) Big hugs my 23 year old fabulous friend!

denise said...

I am just so happy to read that you aren't disappearing from blogger!!
Life is ment to be enjoyed - so enjoy the free time you have and stressing over reading what I (and others) write isn't a big deal. I write more for me than anyone else - but it is nice to have others chirp in once in a while.

Jess said...

I have an immense amount of reading that I could catch up on, but I also have cleaning and organizing to do, friends to spend time with, kids to babysit, and a million other things to take care of.......... including calling Jess back so you can hear about her weekend. Because, I promise, if anything was gained from it, it was a good story, lol.

I totally get it, friend. I've fallen off of the blogging wagon, too. You've just got so much to do and to look forward to!!!

Merri Ann said...

YES ... my exact thoughts about my own blog.

I've just discovered that the reason I'm not blogging is that I feel so much pressure to do it the way I was ... and that was too much time on the computer ... away from my kids. I waited ALONG time to have them ... I don't want to waste the short time we have together but I really want to get back to blogging.

Melissa said...

I, for one, will be here when you write. I obviously haven't been as active as a blogger and I get far less comments on my post than before. But now I am blogging more for me and to document my life - as opposed to blogging for the masses and to please others. It works. Good luck!

Big Fat Gini said...

The more you look at blogging as a burden, the harder it will be to come back. Just write through it. Even if you think it's lame, other people enjoy it. Hang in there!

It's just me :) said...

It's YOUR blog. You can write whenever and whatever you please. You don't have to write for others, we read it for you. (at least I do)

I will be here to read you whenever you do write. :) You are one of my favorite people in the blogosphere.

Love ya girl!

RM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rosh said...

I couldn't have said it better!

Having started and abandoned 2 blogs over the years, my approach now is to post only when I feel like it, for me, (even if it is just random nonsense).

Melissa said...

I used to do and feel the same way until one day I realized that I didn't enjoy blogging the way I did when I first started. It became a chore instead of something I enjoyed. Now I do it when I feel like it. If I don't feel like it then I don't. I don't read every blog every day...I'd never be able to do anything else. So enjoy life and visit when you can.

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