Thursday, June 2, 2011

7 months later and nothing has changed.

At least not in the online dating world.

Y'all. I want to know HOW in sam hell PEOPLE FIND SPOUSES FROM ONLINE DATING. My neighbor actually just got engaged to a girl he met on 6 months ago. My brother went on a 4 hour first date tonight with a girl he met online. Then I log onto and do you know what cards I've been dealt? The jokers. Seriously, that's how I'm going to refer to them, because I'm 0 for 3 with this online dating crap and I know now it really is all a joke.

Fortunately, I truly did join for the stories. I'm about to be incredibly busy for 13 months. I don't want and don't need the distraction of a relationship, and, quite honestly, I think I need to become happier with myself, before I even begin to think about letting someone else in. So, yes, I joined for the stories, but then I found out I had to be a paying member to communicate with anyone, so my plan for stories almost went out the window. However, there was an ad this weekend for three months for the price of one, and I figured why not? And maybe I secretly hope there will be at least one decent guy I come across, although I am convinced the decent guy ratio to decent girl ratio is about 1:100 in the online dating world.

But, as a matter of fact, I was paired with a decent guy. He's actually very nice and will make some girl very happy, but I'm just not that girl. Oh, did I mention that I KNOW HIM. Haha. Hello, awkwardness. I was perusing the people I was matched with and saw him my jaw dropped and I couldn't stop laughing. I immediately clicked "not interested" in the hopes that he never saw we were matched. He really is very nice, but last time we hung out in a group (in January), somehow my virginity came up and that was all he could talk about. Like, seriously, for a good 45 minutes, until I finally asked him to quit talking about it. I may have even written about it on here? I'll have to check. Anyway, any guy that can't get past that yes, I am a 24 year old virgin and am perfectly fine with that needs to keep moving on. Plus, the attraction just is not there at all, at least not on my end.

I've received an email, too, now that I'm a paying member. All it said was, "How are u?" He sure has a way with words, huh? That's quite possibly the most succinct email I have ever received, for any reason at all. Here's his deets, let's play a game of, "what about this guy doesn't sound like Marianne's type."

1. 29

2. Lives in Florence, KY, over 2 hours away from Indianapolis.

3. Is divorced.

4. Has a child.

5. High school graduate

Take a guess which four qualities I don't like.

Listen, at the risk of sounding shallow, the only thing I find attractive about this man on paper is his age, the fact that he doesn't smoke, and his profile said his little boy is his whole world, because that's precious (but at this age and point in my life, I don't want a man with a kid). And here's what irks me... I freakin listed on my damn profile what is highly important to me, which does include never married, no children, and at least a college degree. This was my main complaint when I legitimately tried eharmony & match- guys who seemingly have zero qualities that I consider to be important are the ones trying to communicate with me. Which leads me to believe all they do is look at the profile picture and act on that alone.

I'm not saying I'm unwilling to overlook some things, but come on. I really don't think it's unreasonable for me to want a never married, childless man.

I need to just give you guys a running list of the people who express interest in me and their stats, so that you don't think I'm being too ridiculous. Nonetheless, this should be rather entertaining.

In other news, I have a ton to blog about, which I hope to get on top of pronto.

Toodles, Registered & Protected


Adriane said...

Your online dating (mis)adventures are one the reasons I became a follower way back in the day. I love it.

That being said, my sister-in-law found her husband through e-harmony. They are doing well; in fact, they just had a baby a little over a month ago. So, I guess, success stories really do happen in real life. I dabbled in way back in its early days, but I ended up more disappointed than anything. It seems I attract all the weirdos and d-bags as well. ::shrugs::

At your age, I don't think your expectations are too high...I think they are right on target.

Jess said...

I don't think your in the wrong about the divorced with kid thing.

I still don't want that. I figure that if I'm 30 and still single, I'll take another look at the issue. Until then, I don't want to be a step-mommy.

Miss Em said...

Hey, just started reading your blog its really well written and we have WAY more in common than you realise! Really admire how honest you are about everything... You have more conviction than me, I just lie though my teeth.....It so comes back to bite me!

Katherine said...

Wow. Crazy that you got matched with a guy you know! Can't wait to hear more stories.

Katie said...

Girl, I hear you. I tried eHarmony to no avail a year ago. But even there, the guys are kind of ridiculous. It's a pretty sad state. I'm 27, and I totally agree that I shouldn't have to settle on the important things like no kids and no crazy ex-wives. Is it really that hard??

medschoolodyssey said...

Pretty sure I'm the only guy posting on here, but I have to empathize with you. Most of the guys I know that are a part of the online dating scene are losers in one way or another.

Best of luck to you.

medschoolodyssey said...

One other thing to add about eHarmony and the guys that use it.

You are completely correct about them selecting people based upon their profile picture. My old roommate was an eHarmony subscriber for something like two years. I would wander into his room from time to time and walk through his eHarmony matches with him.

Without exception, I could always tell which girls he would find something interesting about. If they didn't fit a very specific physical profile, he would find a reason to not be interested in them. I would point and say "But this girl sounds really interesting because of..." and he'd always invent some reason for why he wasn't into them.

Happily, he is still single and none of his eHarmony matches / dates have ever amounted to anything.

purplume said...

A woman here in Hawaii was using one of the online dating services and they kept sending her matches with 30 year olds. She's in her 70's. Hellooo.

denise said...

I am always shocked when I see 'good' couples that tell me they met online because I feel like you...I haven't had any positive things from it and I gave up with that whole idea...its just not for me..but YEA to all the others it actually worked for.

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