Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Throwback Tuesday

I decided to repost an entry from not quite a year ago when I had, like, 4 readers (speaking of readers, super huge THANKS to all my newest followers!). I woke up with a migraine and have to babysit in less than an hour, so blogging something new isn't going to happen and I assume 99% of you haven't read this post before, anyway. Maybe I'll do this every Tuesday- repost a post from the past? Perhaps. Anyway, enjoy!

I'm (almost) too Embarrassed to Admit...
... That I am deathly terrified of birds/anything with feathers (especially if it flies). I'm sure it pays to be an onlooker when I'm walking down the beach or through the park and a bird gets within 10 feet of me. Let's just say loud stomping, clapping, and spitting are some tactics to scare them away. Or I scream and run in the opposite direction. Whatever works.

... That the kids I babysit for tell me to cover my nose and mouth when I change their diapers because they know that I will gag. Babies bums are no problem, dissecting a cat doesn't even bug me, but give me the hiney of a kid of at least two years in age and I'm dunzo.

... That my nighttime routine consists of: vick's vaporub under the nose, vaseline lathered on the lips, honkin' piece of plastic in the mouth to stop me from grinding my teeth, and a blanket totally wrapped around my eyes. Lucky hubby I'll have ;) At least I don't sleep in a flannel nightgown... or do I?

... That if I wanted to, I could eat an entire large pizza from Donatos in one night and not get sick. And now you all know why I gained those 29581 "unexplained" pounds.

... That I want to punch people who spell ridiculous as rediculous. And don't know the difference between to, too, or two. Or lose and loose. Or clothes and cloths. Or those who spell Marianne/Merri Ann as Mary Ann. So lame.

... That the sound of chewing gum chomping makes me cringe more than nails on a chalkboard.

... That I always speak before I think. Yes, you read that correctly. I Speak, then think. My friends (usually) think it's hilarious because it's so mind-boggling that someone could be so uncensored. I think it's social suicide, but do little to change it.

... That I am obsessed with Roseanne. Sometimes I stay up way later than I should just to watch it on TV Land. I hope to God I have that kind of humor when raising my own children. She has the best one-liners and her retorts to her children's questions inspire me.

... That I fall over. A lot. Yesterday at the library I lost my balance when I walked into the bathroom stall and slammed into the wall. I'm quite familiar with the walls of stalls (and floors) at bars... but the library was a new one. I also run into walls, a lot. I'm considering suing my eye doctor.

... That my wingspan is shorter than my height. So what if my pants are flooders (after a run in the dryer, they usually are) and my shirts cover my hands, you got a problem with that?

... That I crack myself up. Like this post; I think some of it is pretty darn witty, even if it's not.

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NP Odyssey said...

Funny post. A good sense of humor will be a great asset in the field of nursing.

When I read you fall over a lot a mental image of you doing this in a patients room made me laugh. With lots of tubes, wires and electrical cords all over the place it is easy to get tangled. I have tripped, but never fallen and then I usually say something funny to the patient and family.

Pam said...

Hahahahaha! Good one! I am a CHEWING GUM whore. I try not to smack since it's so offensive to most people, even me. The worst is when a receptionist is smacking her gum and she's typing with her fake fingernails. The sound of those nails tappin on the keys along with the popping sound of the gum sends my ass over the edge every single time.

Zazzy Episodes said...

Pam that's a good one, how about receptionist's who are eating while answering the phone or worse yet in the middle of a converstation then say their greeting?
(Marianne) such a pretty name, who would want to mess it up and spell it differently.

Big Fat Gini said...

The "rediculous" one gets to me too. I'm always like, "Dude. You're on the internet so it's not hard to find a dictionary."

And you crack me up too!

Kim Elkins said...

So glad to know I'm not the only one that hates the "loose" intead of "lose". So many people do it, I was starting to think I was wrong. :)

Helene said...

I think I remember this post from way back when! This is when we both learned we shared a fear of birds!

Estelle Darling said...

Haha. Okay. So I might be guilty of the last one too. Kind of hard to explain to someone that you are laughing at your own joke inside your head. lol

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