Diary of a Fickle White Woman

I have always had an active imagination. As a little girl, the hours spent playing house, or putting on skits, or pretending to be a pregnant housekeeper named Nancy (I have NO idea why this ever became a thing), I would let my mind run wild. The older I grew, the more I found myself daydreaming, creating a fantasy of how I thought life would go, and couldn't wait for it to unfold. And then, against my better judgment, I became an adult.  Obviously, by my age, I have come to realize life isn't a Hallmark movie. And yet, I still find myself always seeking greener pastures. I really enjoyed a lot about my life in L.A. I lived in a beach front apartment with an ocean view. I had access to anything and everything, whenever I wanted it. I made extremely good money, I had a handful of really good girlfriends, and I was fully independent. However, I still wasn't content. I was overweight, had a non-existent dating life, and with 30 knocking on my door, I thought it ...

I started this blog a month after graduating college. Ten years ago to be exact, which makes me feel equal parts old and in disbelief that that much time has already passed. I was 22, planning on going back to nursing school, and looking for a way to somewhat utilize the journalism degree I had just earned. I wrote on here religiously for a few years, and then I went to nursing school and my free time became non-existent. Slowly but surely, I just abandoned my little corner of the internet and it hasn't been touched in six years now.  Do you ever feel like you're being pulled in a direction to do something, or be somewhere, and you can't explain why, but you just KNOW you must follow the force? That's how I've ended up back here. I haven't read a blog in years, haven't looked at my own in years, and, truthfully, don't really feel like I have a whole lot to say. But, this little nagging voice from the universe has kept pushing me back to writing. My he...

My, my it's been a while, hasn't it? I have no idea what has compelled me to resurrect this thing, especially in the wee hours of a Thursday morning; except for the fact that I cannot sleep or shut my brain off. I guess I felt like visiting an old friend would do me some good. I don't know even know when I last posted or what it was about, but it's probably safe to say not much has changed. Have you ever yearned for change so much in your life that it became an obsession? That's my current state. Maybe I'm having a quarter-life-crisis 10 months into my 25th year, or maybe it's just a complete inability to ever be contented, but being happy with where I presently am has been a serious struggle. I won't go so far as to say that I am depressed, but life at almost-26 is certainly not what I had expected. Working night shift is weird. I'm not a morning person, at all, so for that reason alone I like nights. I also feel like night shift nurses are ...

Hi. I'm an RN. I started work today. I have some weird orientation thing tomorrow for 8 hours, then am thrown right into night-shift this weekend, working both Friday & Saturday night, 7-7. I also got my schedule for the next 3 months. I work Thanksgiving night and Christmas night. I kind of love that I'm going into this whole working-world life completely balls to the wall. Let's see if I'm still saying that after a few night shifts ;) About NCLEX (aka, any one who is not going to be an RN, the rest of this post is boring), for those who will be taking it in the future, because I know this is a source of great stress and everyone wants to hear everyone's take on the exam. One can never have too many opinions regarding that blasted test, or so it seems. Anyway, I studied for 6 days. Yes, 6- where I actually paid attention to what I was reading and thinking through the questions and answers, not just guessing to get the answer. I'm thinking it's probably ...

I love that word. I love how it has a standard, everyday definition found in Webster's, but also takes on so many different meanings, depending on the individual. The definition is as evolving as the process itself. For me, as many of you know, life has been on the fast track for the better part of the past year. However, that chapter has closed and I am now starting a new one. Here's a little update on my life as of late. On August 11, 2012, myself and 17 of my new brothers and sisters graduated with a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing from Indiana Wesleyan University. The 11 months of school it took to complete that degree were easily the hardest 11 months of my life. There were meltdowns, tears, illness caused by stress, and feelings of being stupid and incompetent. There were also lots of laughs, amazing friendships formed, and patient stories that not only reaffirmed my love for the profession of nursing, but also gave me a better appreciation for life. The whole gang. ...

A few weeks ago I interviewed for an RN job on the neonatal intensive care unit that I volunteered at for over 2 years. Yesterday I was offered the job, contingent on me passing NCLEX. WOOOOOOO!!! I haven't accepted yet (and my dreams of moving to LA are still very real) and I have until I pass boards to formally accept, but the offer is there and, for all intents and purposes, I have a job 6 weeks before I graduate, which has me feeling all kinds of happy, blessed, and flattered. It's just crazy to me that everything I have worked so hard for for essentially 3 years is coming to an end and a new beginning is on the horizon. Truly is amazing how ANY dream can come true, all it takes is a little imagination, and a lot of resilience, dedication, and hard work.